


Hurt

by Precious93



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clintasha - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 09:37:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/637522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Precious93/pseuds/Precious93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint is upset and won't talk to Natasha. Can she get him to confess?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Natasha climbed the stairs of the apartment building. Clint's apartment was, of course, on the top floor. There was no elevator in this building so she had to climb the ten flights of stairs. This didn't bother her at all, seeing as she was in great shape. Ten floors was nothing. It would just take her slightly longer than riding an elevator.

Natasha was on her way to find out what was up with Clint. He hadn't been answering her calls or texts. He shut himself away in his apartment as soon as he had come back from his solo mission four days ago.

At first, Natasha was annoyed her was ignoring her. The longer it went on, the more worried she became. If something was wrong he would be talking to her. Unless she did something wrong. But she couldn't remember doing anything that would've pissed him off enough to avoid her for four days. They hadn't even been near each other. They had each been on separate solo missions. Natasha had gotten back three days ago only to find out her partner had left base.

 

 

_“Hello, Agent Romanoff. Good mission?” Maria Hill, second in command, asked Natasha as she stepped off the jet._

_“It went well. Got everything I needed. Where's Barton?” Natasha asked. She hadn't seen her partner in three weeks._

_Maria hesitated. “He left base yesterday. Haven't heard from him since. He seemed...upset.”_

_Natasha's expression didn't change but she was immediately concerned. Clint didn't usually leave base or take days off. Her brows wrinkled in a frown, “what do you mean 'upset'?”_

_“Well, it's always hard to tell with him, but I knew something was up. When I asked he brushed it off and said he was taking a few days off. That's when I knew something was wrong. You two are the only agents, aside from myself and Fury, who never take vacations.” Maria explained as they walked to the conference room._

_Natasha remained quiet, thinking._

_'Why did he leave? What happened?' Natasha thought to herself. She spent the rest of her day debriefing from her mission. She put all thoughts about her partner on hold until business was done. Though she did send a text asking if he was okay._

_She called him several times over the next few days, each call going to voice mail._

_“Hey it's Clint. Leave a message and I'll get back to you.”_

_“Dammit, Barton stop ignoring me! Call me!” She growled into the phone._

_This pattern continued for the next few days. She would call or text him and he would not answer. She decided she would find him and figure out why he was avoiding her._

 

 

Now, Natasha stood in front of the door to his apartment. She knocked several times, but there was no answer. She easily picked the lock and opened the door.

Clint's apartment was not small, but it was also not big. He had a kitchen, a living area, a bathroom and two bedrooms. The place was a complete mess. There were empty bottles of beer and whiskey strewn around the room. Natasha walked farther into the apartment and found Clint passed out on the couch, clutching a bottle to his chest.

“Clint, wake up,” she nudged his shoulder. “C'mon Clint. Need you to get up now.” For all her irritation, Natasha did not say this harshly. He didn't move or show any sign of waking. If it wasn't for the rise and fall of his chest she could've believed him to be dead. It was clear that he wouldn't be getting up, so Natasha pulled the throw off the back of the couch and draped it over him. She took the bottle out his hand and left him to rest.

She cleaned up his apartment, waiting for him to wake. As irritated with him as she was, she knew there was something really bothering him. He never drank this much. A beer or two once in a while was his limit. He only drank like this when there was something seriously wrong. The last time it happened was over a year ago after a shitty mission.

 

 

_They had been sent to take out the leader of a human trafficking operation. They found a warehouse where the leader, Jason Rivera was keeping the girls. He was there, so were Clint and Natasha. They were to kill Rivera and, hopefully, get the girls out. Clint took out the guards. They slipped inside and found the office where Rivera was hiding. They quickly ended his life then went in search of the girls._

_What they found was not what they'd hoped for. In the largest room of the building, there were rows, upon rows of cots. On the cots were the bodies of the girls. There had to be at least fifty. All between the ages of eight and eighteen._

_“They dead,” Clint whispered, horrified._

_Natasha burried her face against Clint's chest. The sight was too much for her. After being raised by the Red Room, the bodies of the dead girls were something that Natasha couldn't handle well._

_“We're too late,” Clint said._

_“Let's get out of here. Please,” Natasha could barely speak._

_They left the warehouse and placed an anonymous call to the local authorities. They could deal with the bodies._

_After the mission Clint went on leave for a week, Natasha as well. Clint drank himself into unconsciousness trying to get the image of the dead girls out of his head. Natasha did not fair much better. She ended up staying at Clint's, the two of them sharing the liquor. At the end of their leave, they talked about what had happened. After that it got easier to deal with and they went back to work._

 

 

When the apartment was clean, Natasha turned on the Keurig. She made herself a cup of tea then went over and stood in front of the balcony's glass doors. She watched the city that never sleeps.

There was a groan from the couch. Clint was waking up. Natasha walked over to him and sat on the floor by his head.

“Hey,” she kept her voice low. He probably had a killer headache.

He just groaned in response.

“That's what you get for drinking until you pass out.” She mocked. “What happened?”

He didn't answer her.

“C'mon, up. Go shower, you smell disgusting. Take some Advil to get rid of that headache.” Natasha helped him up off the couch and gave him a little shove toward the master bedroom and, more importantly, the bathroom within. She waited until she heard the shower turn on before she returned to the kitchen.

She made him a cup of coffee: black, two sugars. After five minutes, Clint came out in a pair of sweatpants. He looked a little better and didn't smell nearly as bad.

He walked over and leaned against the counter opposite her. She handed him his coffee and waited until he finished it before saying anything.

“Clint,” she called for his attention. He just kept staring into his, now empty, mug. “Clint talk to me.” he didn't.

Natasha's irritation flared. “Dammit, answer me! What the hell happened?” she all but shouted at him. He winced at her volume. He turned his head away from her, clearly not wanting to talk. She was frustrated now and worried that maybe she had done something wrong. She didn't want to feel insecure, but it was inevitable.

“Di-did I do something wrong?” she whispered. “Is that why you're avoiding me?”

Clint's head snapped up and he locked eyes with her. He looked like hell. There was pain in his eyes. She had to look away from the intense look. She looked down at her hands and realized she was shaking slightly.

“Nat,” he spoke low. He closed to few feet between them and wrapped her in a bone crushing hug. “I'm sorry.”

“What happened? Why have you been avoiding me? Why are you drinking, you never drink! Did I do something? Did your mission go wrong? Please, talk to me!” She wasn't crying, but there was enough emotion in her words that tears were unnecessary to covey her distress.

“No, god no, Nat. It wasn't you, never you. Why would you think that?” He tightened his arms around her.

“You didn't answer my calls or call me back. I thought you needed space but then you still didn't answer after a few days. You always talk to me when you're upset,” I pulled away to look at him. He led me over to the couch and we sat down.

“I'm sorry,” he started. “I failed my mission. Someone innocent died because of it.” He stopped.

“Clint?”

“It wasn't a solo mission as you had been told. I was partnered with a newer agent, Carol Preston. We had worked together before, never really had any problems. We even slept together a few times, just casual. Anyway, we were sent to get information on an arms dealer. This guy was a piece of work,” Clint scoffed. “Damn guy bought little girls as his toys. He had them locked in a basement at his base. After we took his guards out I was going to take him out.

“Some how I missed a guard because after I took the bastard out, I heard gunfire. I found Preston and one of the little girls strapped to separate support pillars. The guard slipped out the back door. Suddenly the room was filling with gas. I tried to get them both out of the chains, but I only managed to get Preston. We were losing time and air. The other girls in the room had started passing out. I told Preston to get out and grab the girls.

“Once we got them out of the room I went back in to get the last girl. I- I didn't make it. I wasn't fast enough. I got her out but she was dead before we got to the medics. Only two, of the six girls we found, survived. I failed, Nat. I failed.”

Clint was crying. He tried to turn away from Nat, but she pulled him into her, cradling him like a child. Natasha had known it would be bad, but she couldn't have imagined this.

“It's not your fault. Clint, you did everything you could.” She tried to ease his guilt, though she knew it wouldn't matter.

“I failed,” he kept whimpering.

“No, you didn't. You save two girls, that's more than we could last time. Those girls will get to see there families again. They get to go home thanks to you,” Natasha held him tighter.

He didn't say anything for a while. He tried to calm down. Once he had stopped crying, he sat up.

“Thank you,” he grasped her hand.

“You would've done the same for me. I'm sorry I was angry at you.”

“No, you had a right to be. I ignored your offer to help. I was just- I just couldn't...”

“It's okay,” Natasha squeezed his hand. “It's okay, you don't need to explain.”

“Nat,” he brushed the back of his knuckles across her cheek. She seemed spooked by the gestured and quickly turned her head away. “Sorry,” he muttered an apology.

Clint got up and walked to the balcony door, watching the city as Natasha watched him. The only reason she refused to give in to her feelings was to keep him safe. Once they compromised each other with emotions, there would be no going back. They would be vulnerable, weak. Their enemies would have something against them to exploit.

She knew all of this and it was still very hard to not give in. Especially at times like this when the were emotionally drained and tired of fighting.

“I should go,” the words were out of her mouth before she knew it. It was too late to take it back so she stood up and started to leave.

“No, don't go,” Clint pleaded.

“Clint?”

“Please, stay.” It wasn't a question, but also wasn't a demand.

“Okay,” she whispered.

“With me,” Clint added.

Whoa, with him? Did that mean he-?

“Yes,” he answered her unspoken thought. He walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. He tilted her chin up, and slowly, slow enough for her to stop him, he leaned down to kiss her. She didn't stop him. At first the kiss was soft and gentle. Then started getting hotter, more aggressive. Their tongues, battling for dominance.

Natasha broke away first. “We can't,” was all she said.

He didn't look angry or annoyed. He just looked hopeful.

“Why not? We're already compromised for each other. Everyone already thinks we're together. Our enemies could use us against each other either way. Why can't we get something out of that?”

'He has a point', Natasha thought to herself.

“I'm scared of being hurt,” she gasped after she said it, thinking it had just been a thought in her head.

“Baby, I'm the last one who will hurt you. I will move heaven and earth to keep you from being hurt. Please, let me love you,” he implored.

She looked into his eyes and got lost in the stormy seas of blue. After a moment she spoke.

“Okay,” was all she said.

 

The End...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:Hello my lovelies!! Due to the wonderful reviews I received I have decided to continue this story. It took me a while to figure out how I wanted to proceed with the plot and I think I have found what I've been looking for! Read, review and enjoy!!

Hurt, Chapter 2

 

“We have a mission,” Clint said as he approached Nat in the gym. She was currently beating up an already abused punching bag.

“Where to this time?” She asked, wiping her neck with a towel before taking a drink from her water bottle.

“Somalia.”

“Give me ten to shower and change then we can go over details,” Natasha said as she started walking towards the locker room.

“How about you come back to my apartment and we can go over some other details,” he smirked as his lust filled eyes scanned her sweaty body. She turned around and sauntered back over to him.

“You wish,” she smirked. Turning around, she put a little more sway in her hips as she walked away again.

“You're killing me, Tash!” He cried in mock hurt.

“I've only been trying to kill you for years Barton. Haven't killed you yet, not killing you now,” she winked before she disappeared behind the locker room door.

Clint chuckled.

He and Natasha had officially been together for a month and nothing had really changed. They were still the best partnership S.H.I.E.L.D had ever seen. They were still best friends. Fundamentally, nothing had changed between them. The only difference be now and a month ago is that they slept together more often than not. They basically lived together, be it in her apartment or his. They also had sex, but not as often as one might think. Her job being what it was, sex was the last thing Natasha wanted at the end of the day.

When Nat came out of the locker room, Clint followed her out of the gym and down to the mess hall to get food. After that they made their way to Clint's apartment on-base. They ate their food then got down to business.

“So, what's the mission this time?” Natasha asked, opening the file Clint handed to her.

“Somalia, arms dealer needs to be taken out.” Clint said, then added, “Your mission, should you choose to accept it-”

“Cut it out,” Nat chuckled, “we need to be serious, dummy.” she cuffed him over the back of the head affectionately.

“Alright, fine, you're no fun” He stuck his tongue out in a very childish manner. She rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.

“Okay, so our mission is to go in and take this guy out. Doesn't matter how but it needs to be done quickly. We also need to secure the facility in which the weapons are being held.” Clint said.

“Doesn't sound too bad,” Nat said. “And I don't have to seduce any pervs this time.” She smirked at Clint, who smirked back.

“Thank God for that,” his eyes smoldered with lust and jealousy. He hated when Nat had to seduce the marks. He knew he was in no danger of losing her to someone else, but he was always concerned for her. He hated that the job was like that for her.

“Hey,” she stood up from the table and walked over to him, settling between his legs. “None of that,” she caressed his face. She could always read what he was feeling or thinking. Sometimes he swore she was telepathic. “I'm here. You have no reason to be upset about this right now.” She consoled.

“I know,” he pulled her into his lap and held her tight. “I just hate when you have to do those things. It's not right and it's not fair.”

“Nothing is fair in this business Clint, but it has to be done.” She held him close. “But it doesn't have to be done today or on this mission. Please, put it out of your mind.” She looked up at him.

“Okay,” he kissed her softly then stood her up again.

“Ready?” He asked.

She nodded then they were gone.

 

She could smell smoke. As she inhaled she choked on the air, coughing hard. Her lungs burned and she could barely open her eyes. When she did, she wished she hadn't. Around her was a field of debris and fire and smoke.

At first, she couldn't remember how she'd gotten there. Then, it came rushing back. The weapons facility, the explosion. She had been caught in the building when it went up in flames. Their cover had been blown the minute they walked in there. The dealer was waiting for them. He blew up one of the crates of ammunition and it caused the whole building to erupt into a fireball. Natasha had been caught inside when it happened. She was knocked out by a beam and was trapped.

As Natasha regained her senses she could hear her name being called.

“Over here,” she tried to shout but her voice was too hoarse from the smoke. She choked on her words, hopefully her coughing was loud enough for them to hear.

“Natasha!”she heard her name again and recognized the voice as Clint's. Suddenly he was right in front of her, pulling debris off her body. Looking up at someone he shouted, “I found her, get a med over here!”

“Cl-clint,” Nat coughed hard.

“Shh, save your strength. We're gonna get you out of here,” Clint assured. Natasha's eyes started drooping closed.

“Nat, baby, stay awake. Need you to keep your eyes open. For me, please,” Clint coached. Natasha fluttered her eyes open and watched the worry increase in Clint's eyes. His beautiful storm gray eyes.

“Good girl, stay awake baby. Help's coming.” As if on cue a quinjet could be heard approaching them. Clint covered Natasha's body with his own so debris kicked up by the chopper didn't hit her. Soon the medic team appeared next to them and loaded Natasha onto a stretcher. Clint stayed beside her until they got on the jet. The medics tried getting him out of the way but he refused to leave Natasha's side. They gave up and worked around him.

She was having trouble staying awake. Losing the battle to keep her eyes open, her world went black as she lost consciousness.

 

Natasha slowly awoke to the sounds of beeping.

 _Hospital_ , she thought, _great._

Opening her eyes, she groaned. Her headache pounded from the bright lights of the med bay.

“Nat,” Clint breathed from beside her. She opened her eyes again to see him sitting in the chair beside her bed. He was still in his combat gear which meant he hadn't left her side once.

“Hey,” she rasped. Her voice dry and sore. “Water?”

“Sure,” Clint reached over to the side table and pulled over a cup of ice chips. Rubbing one against her lips before letting it drop into her mouth. He gave her a couple more, then she was set.

“How long have I been out?” She asked.

“About eighteen hours. You passed out on the jet and stayed unconscious until now. They ran a bunch of tests to make sure you were okay. You have a concussion and some bruises and cuts but nothing more than that. You got lucky.” Clint explained.

“I don't feel lucky. I feel like I got hit by a bus.” she murmured.

“Well a building _did_ collapse on you.” he smirked. She rolled her eyes and winced at the slight pain that movement caused her head.

“I'll go get the doctor.” Clint squeezed her hand and left.

Neither of the agents liked being in hospitals or anything resembling a hospital and the hellicarrier med bay certainly did. They always tried to get discharged as soon as possible, sometimes they just tried to escape on their own. It was more interesting that way. But both agents knew that the doctors definitely needed to check them out. They were only human, even though most would say they couldn't possibly be.

Clint came back with the only doctor on the hellicarrier that could actually stand to treat these two. Dr. Carter walked in with her clipboard and her glasses resting on the end of her nose.

She smiled as she walked in, “How are we feeling today, Agent Romanoff?” She asked.

“Like a building fell on me,” she muttered in response.

“Considering one did, it doesn't really surprise me. How about specifics Natasha? Any pains I should know about?” Dr. Carter knew that Barton and Romanoff would hide their pain. Carter also knew that if it was serious enough that they would be upfront about it, at least with her. They knew what they could handle and what was important to share.

“Headache, soreness. Nothing to write home about,” Natasha answered.

“The headache is probably due to the concussion you sustained when the building came down. The soreness, again, from the building collapsing on you. I can have you discharged shortly,” the doctor said as she examined Natasha. “All set. Let me fill out the paperwork and you'll be free to go. Just take it easy for a few days. No sparring or heavy training and try to stay away from anything that could make you worse.” Carter looked pointedly at Natasha. Yes the doctor knew her patient all to well.

“Thanks, Doc. When do you want me back to be cleared?” Natasha knew she was on medical leave as soon as the word concussion was uttered.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Protocol was clear in that an agent with a concussion could not be cleared for active duty. Though most of the time Fury overlooked that rule for his two best agents. If for no other reason than that he wanted them away from his base. They had a tendency to cause chaos when they were around.

“Five days should be good. Though I have a feeling it will be sooner.” Dr. Carter winked as she exited the room. Natasha chuckled.

Clint returned from wherever he had been lurking, taking a seat by her bed once again. He handed her a set of clothes she hadn't noticed him carrying.

“So that's where you left to.” She murmured, taking the clothes. Clint helped her up form the bed and led her over to the bathroom.

“I don't need help, Barton,” she sighed. She was easily annoyed by Clint acting like a mother hen. She knew it was due to misplace and unnecessary guilt. He also hated seeing her in any kind of pain. No matter how well she could hide it, he could always see it. He wasn't called Hawkeye for nothing.

She changed in the bathroom while he stood outside the door. When she was done the left the med bay for the mess hall.

“How's your head feeling?” Clint asked after a long silence.

Natasha shrugged, “not bad. Not _great_...but not bad.”

They were walking a leisurely pace set by Nat. She may try to hide her pain but it was evident in her slower stiffer movement that she wasn't feeling good.

On the exposed skin, uncovered by her t-shirt, Clint could see the bruises and cuts from the debris of the explosion. He was feeling guilty that he had let her go into the building and feeling even worse for not getting her out in time.

“Don't, Clint,” Nat whispered sharply. He snapped his eyes up to meet her. They had stopped in the middle of the hallway and were having a staring contest. Natasha broke the heated silence.

“It wasn't your fault and there was nothing you could've done to stop this. I'm fine. I've had way worse injuries than this and you know it. Stop, please. You don't need to blame yourself. It's wasn't your fault,” She reached up and cupped his face. She stared into his eyes for another moment then brought his lips down to meet her.

“Come on, I need to debrief with Coulson and Fury. You need to shower and change. You stink.” She pushed him in the direction of his apartment on base. “Go get cleaned up then meet me in the mess hall. We'll eat then get some rest, okay?”

“Yeah,” he acquiesced. Before he walked away he pulled her into a bone crushing hug, then left without another word.

_He'll be alright, Natasha thought as she headed in the other direction. We'll both be alright._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hello again my lovelies! Here is another chapter for you! Thank you to those of you who reviewed! You give me confidence to continue writing! Thank you!
> 
> Enjoy! Review!

Hurt, chapter 3

 

 

Clint sat in the living room, staring out the window. It was snowing outside. He and Natasha were staying at one of his safe-houses in the Adirondack Mountains. They needed a break from S.H.I.E.L.D. So they took off on a two week leave, claiming they needed time to heal. Sure, they had been injured on the last mission, but it was more of a need for emotional healing.

Clint had to watch Natasha get tortured for hours before back up finally came to get them out. He couldn't help her as they cut her skin with knives and beat her to a bloody pulp. He hadn't been able to get them out until the extraction team arrived. Then he went into a rage, killing any enemy with no remorse. He had carried Natasha's limp body out of the compound where they were being held.

She was still recovering, both physically and emotionally. She had nightmares every night. Of not only this mission, but of her past. Nightmares of the things the Red Room put her through. Every night he held her through these dreams. He comforted her until she was able to fall back asleep.

As he stood, watching the snow fall, he recalled the previous night.

 

_Natasha thrashed around on the bed. It was clear she was still asleep and was trapped in her own Hell._

_“No, please,” she whimpered. She kicked her legs at an invisible attacker._

_“NO!” she screamed, thrashing more violently. Clint came running into the room._

_“Nat! Natasha wake up!” he called to her, not daring to get within reach. Assassins were dangerous. The Black Widow, even more so. The Black Widow terrified and trapped? You didn't dare cross her._

_“Natasha it's me! Clint! Wake up, baby!” He called to her, slowly inching closer._

_She bolted upright with her gun aimed at Clint's forehead. He froze and slowly raised his hands, palms out._

_“Hey, it's just me, Nat. I'm unarmed. It's okay.”_

_“Clint?” her clouded eyes cleared as she fully woke up._

_“Hey,” when he knew it was safe, after he relaxed her hold on her gun, he slowly went over to the bed._

_She buried her head in his chest. Her entire body shook, but she didn't cry. She never cried. He held her and soothed her._

_Pulling her against him, he laid back on the bed. Stroking her hair and whispering nonsense in her ears. Things like how he would take her for some hot chocolate in town and they could watch the locals. Go grocery shopping like a normal couple. Go to a pet store and buy a dinosaur, because why not?_

_That got her to smile a little and she relaxed more fully against him. He kept talking about random things they could do in their time off until she fell asleep. He soon drifted off, too, knowing she was safe in his arms._

 

“Hey,” her voice brought him out of his reverie. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him.

“Hey, baby. How are you feeling?” He asked.

She smiled at the pet name. Normally, she would kill anyone for using a pet name on her, but hearing Clint call her 'Baby' made her feel loved and cherished, so she let him. She knew if she asked him or made a big deal about it he would stop. All the more reason for her to let him have his fun.

“I'm fine,” she answered. Truthfully, she wasn't. Her nightmares had been keeping her from sleeping at all. She felt worn out and tired.

“Liar,” he whispered, smirking.

“Hmm, you caught me.”

“Not hard to do. I know your tells,” he winked playfully.

“Yeah, you do,” she smiled softly.

He turned around all the way and pulled her against him. She nuzzled into his chest. He kissed the top of her head and continued to watch the snow fall. They stayed like this for a while. Even though there were clouds and snow, the day got brighter as the sun rose in the sky.

“Wanna do something today?” Clint asked.

Natasha looked up at him, a curious glint in her eye. “Like what?”

“Nothing special. Maybe walking through town? A little shopping? Some lunch at the cute little cafe in town. It looked like a nice place.” Clint offered.

“Sure,” Nat smiled. “I'll go get ready. Be back in a few minutes.”

She kissed him lightly then sauntered off toward the bedroom.

 

An hour later, the two assassins were strolling down the main street of the small town nearest to their cabin. There were plenty of people out walking in the snow. Mothers with the children, teenagers enjoying the day off from school and other couples for a day out. The shops lined the street on both sides. In the center of town was a small park. An ice skating rink was set up and people could be seen gliding across the ice and, in some cases, falling on their butts.

Natasha and Clint walked to the small cafe, close to the park. Nobody was seated outside due to the light snowfall. Inside was getting slightly more crowded as it got closer to lunchtime. They were seated at a table in the back, away from the crowd where it was slightly less noisy.

“I want a burger,” Clint said as soon as they sat down.

Natasha just snorted.

“Seriously, I need a burger. And coffee. Coffee would be fantastic.”

“Yeah well, I just want soup. They have baked potato soup. It sounds delicious.” she says, flipping through the menu.

“Oh that sounds good. Maybe I'll have that instead!”

“Thought you wanted a burger,” Nat smirked.

“I do. Maybe I'll get both,” Clint grinned. “Yes I think I will.”

They waiter came over and took there orders. Baked potato soups, a burger and coffee for Clint and a Hot Chocolate for Nat.

They ate their food in relative silence, neither of them saying much. Mostly they just watched each other and everyone else around them. They easily carried a conversation through looks and gestures and body language without needing to speak.

After lunch the two assassins walked around town for some shopping. Natasha pulled Clint into all the clothing stores and proceeded to try on everything in sight. At least that's what it felt like to Clint. In reality she only tried on a few different things at each store. By the time they were done, Tasha had purchased a new blouse and a matching scarf and a pair of heeled boots.

They got back to the cabin and Clint went to the kitchen to start cooking dinner. Natasha went to shower. Even though she had showered that morning, the cold and snow froze her to the bone. A shower would fix that right up.

Clint had made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and they sat down to watch a movie while they ate. Clint got up to clear their plates halfway through Anastasia. When he came back, he saw Nat lying across the couch, fast asleep.

It wasn't late but seeing as she hadn't been sleeping well, he clicked of the television, scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He laid her gently down on the bed and climbed up behind her, pulling her close to him. He fell asleep listening to the sound of her steady breathing.

 

Around midnight, Natasha started mumbling in her sleep.

“No, please,” she cried. “No! Stop, please, stop!”

Clint was startled awake from her sudden cries. He looked over at his sleeping partner and frowned. Another nightmare.

“No!” Natasha screamed.

“Nat, wake up. Baby it's okay, wake up.” He grabbed her wrists to keep her from lashing out at him.

Natasha jolted upright and whipped her head around, searching for any enemies. She was still clearly in a dreaming state because as soon as she saw Clint she scrambled backwards out of the bed. She backed into the corner of the room farthest away from Clint and slid down the wall, pulling her knees against her chest. She looked so much like a child in that moment.

“Don't hurt me, please,” she pleaded. “Please.”

“I'm not gonna hurt you Nat. It's me, Clint. I'm here to protect you, remember? No one can hurt you. You're safe,” he spoke softly, soothingly. He could see her terrified expression and it broke his heart. He approached slowly, inch by excruciating inch. He didn't want to frighten her more. This wasn't the Natasha he knew, nor was it the Black Widow.

Now, he was dealing with the little girl who was taken from her family at too young an age and put through Hell. This was Natalia.

“Nat, baby, I'm going to come closer, okay? I won't hurt you. You can trust me. I won't let anything happen to you.”

She whimpered in fear as he same closer and tried to curl further into herself. She didn't lash out at him though, which was all he needed to get close to her.

“Hey, shh, it's okay. You're safe.” He whispered. He crouched down next to her, stroking her hair. “You're safe.”

Natasha didn't speak. She was shaking and terrified. Slowly, she started realizing where she was. She started remembering who she was.

“Cl-clint?” She whispered.

“It's me, baby. You back with me?” He offered her a hand.

She nodded shakily, allowing him to help her up. As soon as she stood up, she collapsed against him. He scooped her into his arms and carried her back to the bed. She curled up against him, her head on his shoulder and her hand over her heart. She focused on the steady _thump, thump, thump_ of his heartbeat.

“What was your dream about, Tasha?” Clint asked after a few minutes.

She stayed silent, thinking about what to say. He didn't think she would respond, but she finally spoke.

“I'm about five years old. One of the trainers takes me to a cold, dark room. He beats me until I can't stand anymore. He shackles me to a wall, facing the cold stones. I'm so little that me feet don't touch the ground. He takes out a whip and starts punishing me. When he is done he-,” Natasha was shaking now. “He touches me.” It comes out as barely a whisper. The only indication that Clint heard her at all was his body tensing up.

He cannot think of what to say. Nothing can make this better.

“I'll kill him,” Clint says without thinking.

“Too late, I already did that.” Natasha whispered, a small smile forming. “Before I left, I blew up one of the facilities. The man who appears in my nightmares was in the building when it blew. He's dead.”

“That's my girl.” Clint hugs her tightly to his chest. He is still enraged from everything that was done to Natasha. He knows that, if given the chance, he would take out every one of the sick fuckers who hurt her. He knows she knows this.

Natasha may still have nightmares from her past and of what could be in her future, but she knows that Clint will always be there to pull her out of her own mind. He will rescue her from her demons and her past. And she will always be grateful for it. Even when she refuses to admit to needing help, to needing protection, she will always accept it from Clint.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not really sure if I like the ending. Let me know what you think please!!


	4. Chapter 4

Hurt, Chapter 3

 

Natasha and Clint had been living in the Avengers Tower for about a month now. Tony finally talked them into moving in with the rest of the team. The 'rest of the team' being Steve, Bruce and himself. Thor hadn't returned from Asgard since he returned Loki and the Tessaract.

Each Avenger had their own floor, including Clint and Natasha. Most of the time they stayed together, but it was nice having their own space. Especially at this moment.

Natasha felt like such an idiot. She didn't deserve Clint. He was so good and sweet and caring. She was a mess, a heartless bitch who could only destroy and ruin things.

Natasha sat on her balcony railing, her legs tucked up against her body and her arms wrapped protectively around them. She looked so small, sitting there. The city beyond her buzzing with life and energy as she sat feeling dead and cold.

 

_“What the fuck is your problem, Natasha?” Tony shouted at her. It didn't phase her. She simply sat at the counter and drank her tea, Tony fuming behind her._

_“You don't just fucking mess with my stuff! You could've messed something up!” He continued to rant._

_“Stark, I didn't touch any of you tech. I went in the lab looking for Clint. Geez,” Natasha calmly explained._

_“You-” he stopped before he even started. “Oh. You didn't touch anything?”_

_“No,” she rolled her eyes._

_“Oh,” he said. His anger gone. “Good. See ya 'round.” Tony spun around and went back to his lab. Natasha watched in thinly veiled amusement. Tony could be such a child._

_Clint walked into the kitchen to grab some orange juice._

_“You and I both know you messed with something in his lab.” Clint stated. “Run, before he finds out what.” Clint kissed her head as he passed her on his way out of the room._

_She chuckled but didn't speak. She didn't care if Tony found out she had changed the settings on his tablet to display Dora the Explorer when he turned it on. It was a harmless joke and she didn't actually mess with anything important._

 

Natasha took a deep breath and continued to listen to the noises of the never resting city. Sitting there, in one of the largest towers in such a big city, Natasha felt tiny. She felt like she could get lost so easily. Most of the time, that was good. Her job required her to be easily forgettable, unidentifiable. But right now, she felt like she was getting swallowed by everything she wasn't, couldn't be.

She wasn't good. No matter how she tried, she would never be able to clear the red from her ledger. She could try to be a better person and do the right things, but it would never even the score. It could never be right.

She couldn't be the girl you take home to your mother. Or the girl you ask to marry. That wasn't who she was. She couldn't give that to Clint. It was the one thing she was never able to give him. It was something she felt terrible about and something she knew he wanted.

 

_“Natasha, I love you. I know you love me,” Clint pleaded. “Why won't you marry me?” He looked so sad, standing in the rain. Natasha had run out of the restaurant after Clint had proposed, but not before saying, “I can't.” Lightning lit up the sky and thunder crashed over them._

_Natasha had stopped running when she reached the park. She was huddling on a bench. It was spring, but it wasn't warm. The rain was freezing, but she didn't know where to go. She knew by going back to the tower she would have to face Clint._

_Now he had found her, though. He stood in front of her, pleading with her._

_“Why can't you say yes?” He asked with sad eyes._

_“Because, I can't. It isn't something I ever wanted. It isn't something I could ever have.” She looked at him. She barely felt anything. No remorse for hurting him, no guilt, no sadness. He could see it all in her eyes. His eyes flashed with anger._

_“Fine,” he said. He was angry and hurt and now he was going to take it out on her. “be a cold-hearted bitch. See if I care,” he started walking away. He looked back and said, “Don't come to me if you need a partner. We're done.”_

_With that, Clint walked away from the best partner he had ever had. When it finally hit Natasha that what just happened wasn't a dream, once she recovered from the shock of it, she broke down._

_After a long time of sitting in the rain, she stumbled back to the tower. She went to her floor and stripped out of her wet clothes, her body automatically shutting down and going on autopilot. She changed and laid in bed. She didn't sleep._

 

Now, four days later, she was sitting on the balcony railing, watching the world go by. She messed up. She ruined the one good thing in her life. Now he was gone. He left on a mission the day after the fight. He was scheduled to return today, but Natasha couldn't feel happy about it.

She would be relieved when he got home safe, but she didn't feel like she had the right to be happy. She had hurt him. She had broken her promise to never hurt him. Nothing she could do would change it. She could beg for forgiveness or offer him what he wanted, but it wasn't what she wanted. Was it?

Natasha had never wanted marriage, never had the chance to even think about it in the abstract. Until Clint came along, that is. He came along and changed everything. She had learned to trust and accept help from others and love others. She found a home with him, found a partner in him.

For years, they had been a team. They put up with each others mood swings and baggage and shenanigans. They had stayed with each other through nightmares and injuries. They were unmade and remade again and again and they had always done it together.

“I'm a fucking idiot,” Natasha whispered to herself. Their partnership, their relationship, was already exactly like a marriage. How could she not see it before? Why did it scare her so much to really truly marry Clint Barton? Why could she give him that. They were already that close. The only difference would be a signed paper and a pair of rings. She wouldn't love him any less than she did now. He wouldn't be in _more_ danger.

“I can't argue with you there,” the low voice startled her. She jumped and nearly fell of the railing to the ground hundreds of feet below. A hand grabbed her waist just in time.

Clint pulled her against his body. “Easy.” he whispered as if speaking to a spooked horse.

Natasha looked up into his eyes. He had dark circles there. He must not have slept in a few days. He looked tired and worn down.

“You okay?” He asked when she just continued to stare.

She nodded. Then quickly added, “I'm fine.” She backed up and turned away, hugging herself. As if she could protect herself from hurting him anymore.

“So why are you an idiot this time?” he asked. He chuckled, but the sound was forced, unnatural.

She didn't face him or speak. She just stared out over the city. How could she have ruined things so bad and yet he still is giving her a second chance?

“Tasha.”

He voice, low and pleading and _caring_ is what broke her. She spun around and buried her face in his neck.

“I'm sorry,” she cried. “I'm so, so sorry! Please, don't hate me. Please.” She whimpered.

He squeezed her tighter.

“Natasha, I could never hate you.” He assured her. “I was angry and hurt and I didn't mean the things I said. Oh, baby, I love. I don't want a new partner. I just want you,” he kissed her head. “In anyway you'll let me.”

She clung to him tighter as her sobs faded.

“Do you still want it?” she asked after a few minutes. Her breathing had calmed and she could speak clearly now.

“Not if you don't.”

“I don't know if I do. What we have, though, it's what I imagine it to feel like. Being married.” Natasha said. They had moved inside to the couch. Sitting down, Clint pulled Nat into his lap.

“Yeah, it does,” Clint agreed.

“We can,” she said. “If that's what you want.”

“Are you sure, Tasha?” He pulled her away so he could look at her. She saw that he wouldn't do it if she didn't want it, but she also saw hope flicker in his gaze.

“Yes,” she said. “Just because it's written on a piece of paper, doesn't make any difference. We'll still be best friends...” she kissed his cheek “...lovers...” she kissed his other cheek “...partners.” she claimed his lips in a gently kiss.

“Thank you,” he pulled away. “I promise it won't change anything. It'll just show the world that I belong to you, and-”

“I belong to you.” she cut him off.

He smiled, then pulled her into a fierce kiss.

“Mmm,” he hummed, “Mrs. Barton.”

Natasha looked him dead in the eye before saying, “I'm keeping my last name.”

“We'll hyphenate it.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Hurt, Ch 5

 

 

Clint ran through the hallways of the SHIELD base in New York. He pushed past people and didn't care if he ran over anyone. Most of them knew what was happening and moved out of the way.

 _Please, please, God no. Please don't let it be true._ He thought to himself as he made his way through the corridors to medical. Clint had been on a mission when he was called to come in.

“ _Natasha's been hit_ ,” was all Phil had told him. She was on a mission with the other Avengers. Some doom bots had decided to attack the city. She had to have been hit really bad for them to call him in the middle of a mission. The only other time it had happened she was unconscious for two days with a some broken ribs that had puncture a lung and a bullet wound to the abdomen. They had almost lost her during that surgery.

He rushed back to HQ to be there for her. As he arrived at medical he was greeted by his fellow teammates. Tony, Steve ans Bruce were sitting around in the small waiting area. They each looked exhausted and beat up, but Clint barely noticed.

“Where is she?” Was the first thing he said. He looked around at his teammates and at Phil, who was waiting patiently by the door.

“She's in surgery,” Steve answered. He looked tired, his suit was torn and bloody, but the blood wasn't his own.

“What happened?” Clint demanded.

“Doom bots attacked the city. We were all fighting, Natasha-,” Steve looked pained to think about it.

“One of the doom bots blew up a building,” Bruce continued for him. “Natasha was too close and got caught in the blast.” He looked solemn.

“We failed you, Clint,” Steve looked up at the archer, who had been silent up until this point. “We couldn't protect her.” Steve's voice was broken and defeated.

“No,” Clint argued. “You did what you could. Tasha knows the risks, she knows better than anyone how things can go wrong in a second. I need to know though, is she okay?” He looked to Phil at the last sentence. He is face looking grim.

“We don't know,” Phil said, gravely. Clint fell into the nearest chair. His chest was tight with worry and fear. He prayed to entity out there that she would be alright.

The team settled into chairs and waited. Natasha was in surgery and would probably be a while. There was almost no talking between the Avengers as they waited for relief or heartbreak. Each cared for Natasha deeply. They saw her as a sister, a friend.

She was engaged to Clint and everyone knew it. They had agreed to wait on the wedding. Pepper wanted to plan out a grand wedding and Natasha had agreed to it, even though it wasn't something she ever really wanted. Pepper was her closest friend other than Clint, and she was the only other girl at the tower. So Natasha thought it would be unfair to Pepper to take away the fun of planning her best friend's wedding.

Tony, Steve and Bruce each saw Natasha as sister. They protected her like they would a sister. They cared for her and teased her and defended her. They all got along like siblings would. Nobody messed with Natasha without bringing the rest of the team into the mess, even when Natasha didn't need them to fight her battles.

Once, they were out at a club and some guy had come up and started to dance with her. It was fine at first, she was okay. Then the guy's hands started wandering where she didn't want them. She had started to walk away from him, but he grabbed her wrist. The others were there in an instant. Steve squeezed his wrist until he let Natasha go, then Tony punched him in the face. They left shortly after the incident.

Natasha had been furious at them for attracting unwanted attention to them. She yelled at them, telling them she could fight her own battles and that she would be more than capable of proving that by wiping the floor with each of them. They backed off and let her deal with things until she asked for help. Secretly though, she had appreciated that they cared enough to step in for her.

Pepper arrived at SHIELD medical to sit with the team after she heard about Natasha's injury. Pepper was clearly worried for her friend. She clung to Tony, curled up against him in the chair.

After a few hours,Dr. Griggs came out and addressed them all. He was Natasha and Clint normal doctor when they were at this base. He knew them and how they acted.

“Agent Barton,” Griggs spoke to Clint directly. “Agent Romanoff is going to be alright.” He got straight to the point. Clint finally felt like he could breathe again. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

“Can I see her?” Clint asked.

“She is in critical condition right now and she has been put in a medically induced coma. We want to make sure none of her injuries are strained. If she was too wake up we both know she would try to act like she was fine. We need her to rest so her body has time to start the healing process. You can sit with her, we both know you'd find a way into her room anyway.” Griggs chuckled before continuing. “She is being moved into her room now, you should be able to see her shortly.” With that, Griggs walked away to see to other patients.

“Clint,” Phil placed a hand on his shoulder, “she's going to be okay.”

Clint hadn't realized his hands were shaking. His hand never shake.

“Coma,” he voice cracked, “she's in a coma Phil.”

“Only for a couple of days, knowing her she'll wake up before they want her too,” Phil smirked. The Russian assassin was always defying every rule thrown at her. The only other time she had been in a coma, the doctors said she wouldn't make it. She had woken up after two days. She would defy logic and wake up this time too.

Phil pulled Clint in the direction of Natasha's medical room with the other Avengers trailing behind them. They got to the window and they fell silent. Natasha was so small and pale against the white sheets in the gray room. She looked so fragile with tubes criss-crossing all over. The only indication that she was alive and breathing was the steady beating of the heart monitor beside her bed.

Clint walked into the room and pulled a chair up to the side of her bed. He held her hand and kissed her knuckles.

“Tasha,” he whispered brokenly. The team stood around the room, surrounding her bed. They stayed for while, but were eventually kicked out of the room. Clint was the only one allowed to stay. Each of the guys kissed Natasha on the forehead or temple or hair before they left. Pepper gave Clint a kiss on the cheek before she allowed Tony to escort her from the room. Phil squeezed Clint shoulder, saying he would return later to check on them.

Clint watched her all night. He couldn't sleep, though he desperately needed to. He had already been awake for close to seventy-two hours, considering he was on a mission and was called back. Natasha would have been yelling at him for worrying so much and not taking care of himself.

“No use in both of us looking like shit, Barton,” she would have told him. But he could leave her. Her couldn't sleep in case she woke up. Logically he knew Coulson had been right, that she would find a way to wake up before the doctors wanted her to.

“Clint,” he almost didn't catch his name through her moan. His head snapped up to look at her face.

“Tasha?” he choked back a sob. “Baby, I'm here.”

She slowly opened her eyes and blinked a few times. Her eyes landed on him and she smiled a little, just the corner of her mouth tilting up slightly.

“You look like shit, Hawk-boy,” she mocked. His bark of laughter turned to tears and sobs.

“God,” his voice cracked when he could speak again, “don't even scare me like that again. I thought I'd lost you.” he cupped her cheek in the hand that wasn't holding hers.

“Think a building is enough to get rid of me?” she mumbled tiredly. “Can't get rid of me that easily, Barton.”

“Soon you won't be able to say that without talking about yourself.” Clint smirked. She was back, she was alright.

“Still keeping my last name,” she mumbled as she fell asleep again. Clint panicked for a moment, fearing he would lose her. She squeezed his hand, sensing his anxiety, reassuring him that she wasn't going anywhere.

Clint sent a text out to the others telling them she had woken up. Coulson texted back saying 'I told you so.' Clint could only laugh. He kissed Natasha's forehead and whispered, “I'll be here when you wake up.” Then he left to get himself cleaned up and changed.

When he returned to her room, showered and in more comfortable clothes. He reclined in the uncomfortable plastic chair and dozed, secure in the knowledge she would be alright.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Hurt, Ch 6

 

_The Wedding_

 

_Natasha_

 

Natasha sat in her room at Stark's mansion in Malibu. Pepper was fussing over her hair, trying to make it look absolutely perfect. Maria had helped fix her make-up already. Pepper added the finishing touches. Her hair had been curled and pulled back into a bun, with several strands hanging down around her face. There were small white flowers tucked into her red curls.

The girls helped Natasha into her dress. Pepper buttoned up the back and smoothed out any wrinkles in the fabric. When Natasha stepped in front of the mirror, she hardly recognized herself. Her dress was something out of a fairy tale. For the first time, she was glad Pepper had bullied her into it. If she had her own way, Natasha would've chosen a simple white sundress.

This dress was incredible, though. The gown was chiffon, with an empire waist. The waist was accentuated with beading and flowers. The dress was strapless. It was simple yet extraordinary.

“You ready?” Pepper asked excitedly.

“As I'll ever be,” Natasha mumbled. Pepper and Maria, in their bridesmaid dresses, escorted Natasha out into the lounge. Coulson was waiting there with Tony and Steve, Clint's groomsmen.

“Tasha,” Coulson said, “you look beautiful.” He smiled. Phil was to walk Natasha down the aisle and give her away. The party lined up at the door and started the procession.

 

_Clint_

 

Clint was nervous. He was standing at the alter waiting for the moment the love of his life would walk down the aisle to him. The alter was at the edge on the cliff, over looking the sea. Below him, he could hear the waves crashing against the rocks. It was nearly sunset and the sky was painted in reds and yellows and golds. Fury stood at the alter with him, as he would be the one to marry them. Bruce, Thor, Jane and Betty stood along the sides of the aisle. It was only to be a small gathering, just their friends.

Suddenly, music started playing and Steve was walking down the aisle with Maria on his arm. Next came Pepper with Tony. The girls wore simple blue dresses and held bouquets of white roses. Clint was too nervous to smile at them. He was incredibly anxious.

He heard 'ohs' and 'ahs' and his head snapped up. The rest of the world faded from around him, his entire world focused on Natasha. She was breathtakingly beautiful. His breath caught in his throat when she looked up at him and smiled, a shy smile that had his insides melting. Coulson walked her to him and gave him her hand.

“Hey hotshot,” she whispered.

“Hey gorgeous,” he whispered back.

Fury started talking, but Clint wasn't really paying attention. He was too focused on the beauty of the woman standing next to him. He though to himself, _How did I get so damn lucky?_

He felt and elbow in his side. Looking up he saw Fury with an annoyed look and Natasha with a smirk plastered on her face.

“What?” he asked dumbly.

“Do you take this woman to be your wife?” Fury repeated.

“Oh, I do,” Clint blushed. “Definitely.” There were chuckles from the group and Tasha just rolled her eyes.

“I do,” she said when it was her turn.

“You may now kiss the bride,” Fury stated, closing his book.

Clint pulled Natasha close and dip her toward the ground. Leaning over her he whispered in her ear, “I love you Mrs. Barton.”

“Still not changing my name,” she whispered before kissing the breath out of him. Their group of friends cheered for them as they made out like teenagers. The two broke away smiling.

 

Tony had arranged for a reception party after the wedding, so the group filed into the house. Music was playing and there was food and drinks everywhere. Not that it would go to waste, there were plenty of big appetites in the group of superheroes.

When everyone was sitting, eating their food, Tony stood up to make a toast. Natasha rolled her eyes and Clint laughed.

“As I am the best man today,” Tony started, earning a glare from Pepper and Natasha and an eye roll from the guys. “I have come up with a speech! I first met Natasha a few years ago when she was undercover as Natalie Rushman from legal. At first, there wasn't anything special about her, except for her drop-dead gorgeous looks. She was just another pretty face. When I found out who she was, I learned how skilled she was. What an amazing agent she was and how badass she truly is,” there were a few laughs around the room. “Over the time that I knew her, and even more-so when we became Avengers, I've grown to see her as a younger sister. So Clint, if you hurt her,” Tony's expression was dead serious, “you will pay.”

There was an awkward silence after he sat down. Natasha dropped her head into her hands, hiding her laughter. Clint was just kind of confused and amused.

Next Coulson stood up and made a speech about the duo. How they were orphan misfits when he met them and how not much has changed. He spoke of the pranks they had pulled over the years and their habits of getting into trouble and their abilities of getting out of trouble. He saw Clint as a son and Natasha as a daughter and how he was proud to call them his team.

Fury stood up and said, “To Strike Team Delta, may you forever be as happy as you are right now.”

No one knew what to say after that. Fury wasn't one for sentimentality, but for his two best, and favorite, agents, he had made an exception.

The team partied well into the night. Pepper helped Natasha change into something a little more comfortable- a white sundress. Clint and Tasha would be leaving soon for their honeymoon on an island owned by Stark. He had a resort there and it would be just the two of them for an entire two weeks.

Before the couple left, Natasha threw her bouquet to the girls, Maria ended up being the one who caught it. She caught Steve's eye and winked. He blushed bright red.

Natasha raised and eyebrow at Clint and he smirked deviously. He removed her garter and threw it at the guys, aiming right at Steve's face. He became an even more incredible shade of red. Everyone laughed at it and Maria took the garter from him and kissed his cheek.

Natasha and Clint left the group with 'thank you's' and 'see you in two weeks'. They got in Stark's private jet and were whisked away to Tony's island.

“So how do you feel, Mrs. Barton?” Clint smirked. Nat rolled her eyes.

“Perfectly happy, Mr. Romanoff,” she smiled. He gaped at her choice of title for him, then he smirked.

“I'll change mine if you change yours.”

She laughed and swatted his arm before curling up into him.

“Does it really mean that much to you that I change my name?” She asked after a little while. He though for a few minutes, staying silent. Just when she though he wouldn't answer, he spoke up.

“It would tell the world, you're mine.” He whispered, unsure how she would take it. She didn't like the idea of being seen as someone's property. She hated it. He hoped she wouldn't ripped his throat out for wanting that.

She smiled. Truth was, she liked belonging to Clint. She liked when he got possessive and protective of her. It made her feel wanted and safe and loved.

“Okay,” she said.

“Okay?” he asked confused.

“Okay, I'll change my name,” she smiled up at him, “or at least I'll hyphenate it.”

He laughed and kissed her breathless. “Really?” he looked like he just won the lottery and Christmas and everything he could ever want.

She nodded, smiling.

“Natasha Romanoff-Barton,” Clint said.

“Has a nice ring to it,” she finished for him.

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Hurt, Chapter 7

 

 

“So what do you think, Mrs. Barton?” Clint walked up behind Natasha and wrapped his arms around her waist. They were currently in Stark's mansion on his private island. It was a small island in the tropics. The mansion was set back from the beach and the view from the master suite was incredible. Clint and Natasha watched the night outside, the moon rising over the ocean, no clouds blocking the stars. It looked so beautiful and perfect, unreal.

“I'm thinking we might be staying longer than two weeks,” Natasha smirked at her husband. _Her husband_. He was finally hers, she was finally his- officially that is. They had belonged to each other long before vows and rings were exchanged.

Clint's chest shook as he chuckled. Natasha could feel the vibration runs through her own body. She leaned back into him with a contented sigh.

“What would you like to do now, Tasha?” Clint whispered seductively against her ear, his breath tickling her, sending shivers down her spine.

“Mmm, want you,” she murmured, closing her eyes. He kissed her neck, behind her ear, down to her shoulder. Sucking and nipping her skin, teasing her with his mouth.

His hands trailed up her stomach, her arms, up to the straps of her white sundress. Slowly, so slowly, he peeled down the straps. He traced patterns across her back along the top of the dress to the center, to the zipper. Slowly, carefully he unzipped her. She let the dress fall, pooling at her feet, revealing her body to him.

He wrapped his arms around her body, tracing patterns into her skin. She spun around in his hold to face him, draping her arms around his neck. Her fingers played with his hair.

“You have too many clothes on,” she whispered against his lips. Her hands dropped to the buttons of his shirt, lazily undoing one at a time. She pushed the shirt off his shoulders to join her dress on the floor. She kissed down his chest, her tongue tracing his sculpted muscles. Her hands followed her mouths, making her way down to his waist.

She peered up at him through thick lashes and kissed his taught stomach. He sucked in a breath, his pupils blown dark with want. She unbuttoned his jeans, sliding them down his legs along with his boxers, baring him to her. His erection sprang free of its confines. She looked up at him again and smiled mischievously before taking him in her mouth.

He gasped at the sudden onslaught of her mouth on his cock. She smiled around him and sucked hard. He brought his hand to her hair, gently tangling his fingers in her deep red curls, not controlling, but lovingly. She worked her mouth on his member, making him incredibly hard.

“Tasha,” he choked out, “baby, ya gotta stop,” he groaned when she flicked her tongue along his length, “wanna make love to you, Tasha.”

She released him with a pop. Standing up gracefully from where she had been on her knees in front of him. Her grin was wicked, but her eyes were gentle.

Clint placed a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her into a filthy kiss. All tongue and teeth, fighting for dominance. He brought his right hand up to cup her breast over the lacy, strapless bra she wore, his left hand working the clasp. When it was undone, he let it fall to the floor. He stood back, marveling at her beauty.

She stood there, silhouetted by the moon behind her. Her hair glowed like a halo surrounding her, her skin luminescent in the dark. He trailed his hand from her cheek, down her neck, between the valley of her breasts, caressing her reverently. His hand came to rest over her heart.

She moaned breathlessly, reaching for him again. He went to her, pulling her to the bed across the room. She allowed him to guide her down onto the king sized bed. When she laid back, he kissed down her body, worshiping every inch of exposed skin. She watched him as he made his way further down, to the edge of her lace panties.

He glanced up at her, his eyes were dark and wanting. Her breath caught in her throat. He lowered his mouth to her and kissed her center. He licked her opening, long gentle strokes of his tongue. He brought his lips to her clit and sucked lightly, teasingly. He pushed one finger inside her, then another.

“Clint,” she moaned as he pumped his fingers in and out of her. He sucked and nibbled on her clit, bringing her to the edge. He added a third finger, curling them, pressing them up against her g-spot. She would have bucked him off of her had he not place his other hand firmly on her stomach, keeping her in place.

“Please,” she gasp, “Clint.” She didn't need any other words.

Clint curled his fingers and sucked hard on her clit, sending her spiraling into bliss. She convulsed around his fingers, her back arched off the bed.

When she came back down to Earth, he was hovering over her, a gentle, sweet smile on his lips. She smiled up at his, bringing her hand up to cup his face.

“I love you,” she whispered as if it were a secret. She brushed the back of her fingers against his cheek before threading them into his hair.

“I love you, too,” he reciprocated. He leaned down and kissed her lips softly. She could taste herself on him. It sent a jolt of pleasure down her spine. She wrapped a leg around his and flipped their bodies so that she landed on top of him.

“My turn,” she smirked down at him, grinding her core against him. His eyes rolled back as her wet center dragged across his hard cock.

“Nat,” he groaned, “don't tease.” He fisted his hands in the comforter. She leaned down to kiss him. She traced his jaw with her lips, down his neck to the spot on his neck that always drove him wild. His hands grasped her hips tightly as he crushed their hips together, grinding against her.

Natasha pulled her mouth away from his neck, gasping at the friction of their bodies moving against each other. She looked down at him and her heart swelled with affection and love. She reached down between them, searching out his erection. She grasped him firmly and carefully guided him to her entrance.

Slowly, carefully, he sunk into her until their hips were pressed together firmly. They paused, basking in the feel of her surrounding him. His cock inside her, buried deep. Her eyes fluttered shut at the exquisiteness of the moment. He reached up and trailed his fingers across her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

When she was adjusted, she lifted up until just the tip of him was inside her, then impaled herself on him swiftly. They both gasped at the feeling. Soon they built up a rhythm. She lowered herself up and down on him, his hands keeping her steady.

Their breathing became erratic. Natasha could feel the tension building. She could feel Clint getting closer to the edge when he flipped them again, never pulling out. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pumped into her slower than before.

She locked her gaze on his, trying to show him all of her love and devotion and absolute trust for him, to him. Her emotions were mirrored back through his own eyes.

He pulled her leg up, her thigh flush against her chest. The change in angle had him hitting her g-spot over and over. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she moaned loudly.

She could feel him grow impossibly harder inside her. He reached between them and rubbed circles on her clit and she was gone, falling, falling into sweet oblivion. She could feel him coming inside her, filling her with is seed. They rocked against each other, riding out their orgasms.

When they came down, breathing hard, Clint pulled out of her slowly. She winced a little.

She curled into him, resting her head on his chest, her legs entwined with his. He stroked her hair gently. They were both quiet, neither needing to say anything. Their breathing evened out, but neither fell asleep. Natasha listened to Clint's heartbeat as her brushed his fingers through her hair.

“I love you,” Clint murmured. Natasha sighed happily.

“And I, you, my hawk.” She kissed his chest, then rested her head again. She fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat and he soon followed.

The two assassins, stayed in bed for the next two weeks, only leaving when absolutely necessary. They deserved a chance to be happy. The world would survive without them. At least for a while. They stayed on the island for the next two weeks, and even though they didn't want to leave, neither one could argue that they weren't bored out of their skulls, itching to get back to action.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

Hurt, ch 8

 

Natasha dropped the stick into the sink, not believing what she had just read. She checked and doubled checked the instructions and they confirmed what the test read. She other four tests she had taken all had the same results and they sat in a row on the counter of the sink. She was pregnant. It was true.

Her first thought was, of course, disbelief. Then fear, then hope, then crushing panic. How was she going raise a child in a life like hers? The child would be targeted for the sole reason of who its parents were, who its family was. How was she supposed to be able to care for a baby?

How was she going to tell Clint? That thought stopped her in her tracks. How would he react when he found out? On the few occasions he had interacted with children, that she saw, he had been very good with them. A natural. Would he even want a child with her, though? Did he wanted to be a father? She thinks, maybe, he does. They had never talked about it as a possibility because, for them, it wasn't. With the work they did and the enemies they had, they both assumed there was no room for a child.

Now, Natasha was pregnant and she couldn't even tell Clint because he was in the middle of a mission. He wasn't supposed to be back until tomorrow.

She willed herself to calm down. She knew panicking was both stupid and pointless. Once she had herself under control, she collected the tests and hid them away. She didn't want any of her teammates to stumble across them. She didn't want to explain them to anyone right now.

Natasha made her way out of her apartment and up to the library on the top floor of the tower. Rows upon rows of towering bookcases held countless volumes of every type of book imaginable. Stark had built the library for Natasha and Pepper. The girls had a love of books. There was one wall made up completely of windows. The other walls, what could be seen of them between book shelves, looked as if they were made of stone. The bookcases were made to look as if they were carved from trees and mountains. The floor was paneled dark wood with soft area rugs made up of different shades of green. All of them soft and fluffy- made to feel like grass or moss. There was a waterfall in one corner with a stream running across the room.

Natasha did not even attempt to figure out how Stark had managed something so amazingly beautiful. She made her way to the wall of windows. The view was of the city and it was breathtaking. This was where Natasha love to come and think. She settled herself into her favorite armchair, angled so she could watch the city below, and tucked her legs up under her body.

Time passed as she watched the comings and goings of the people in the city. The sky changed from blue to orange with the setting sun and still she stayed, watching. The oranges and pinks and purples gave way to darker shades of blue as stars made their appearance. The moon had emerged on the horizon, full and swollen and bright against the lights of the city.

Being up so high, it was easier to see the stars, though they were still difficult to find. It was one of the small things Natasha wished was different in the city. She would love to be able to see more stars. Perhaps, she thought to herself, she and Clint could move out of the city, somewhere away from everything, where they could see the stars. Maybe that's where they could raise their child.

If they raise their child.

Natasha cut off that line of thinking. She didn't want to think about possibly needing to leave the baby, to get rid of it in any way. She wanted this child, but she wasn't sure if she could do it alone. She needed Clint, but she still didn't know if he would want this.

Her thoughts were interrupted by footsteps.

“You missed dinner,” Steve said as he settled into the armchair across from her. She glanced at him briefly before returning her gaze to the horizon.

“Wasn't hungry,” was her only explanation.

They sat in silence for a while. Steve wouldn't force her to talk, but he also wouldn't leave her alone. He always knew when something was bothering her. It was something that had always baffled Natasha. She was a secretive person and the only other one to be able to figure her out was Clint. She wanted to know why Steve was so easily able to see past her walls.

“You wanna tell me what's going on?” He finally asked after a while.

She smirked. So much for not forcing her to talk.

“I'm fine,” she answered automatically. She wasn't sure if she was or not, so it didn't _technically_ count as a lie, did it?

“That's not what I asked,” Steve looked at her pointedly.

She rolled her eyes and changed her answer. “It's not something I can talk about right now. Not with you...” She let the sentence hang there. He obviously understood that she meant Clint was the one she needed.

“He'll be home tomorrow.” He glanced down at his watch, “or rather, Today.” He smirked.

Natasha's gaze flew to his, surprised. “What time is it?”

“Almost one.”

“Huh,” she huffed. She had been sitting in the library for nearly seven hours. At that thought, her stomach rumbled, reminding her she had skipped dinner. Steve laughed at the sound and soon Natasha was laughing with him.

“Come on,” Steve offered her a hand standing up, “let's go get you some food.”

She took his offered hand and he pulled her out of the chair. They walked in companionable silence to the elevator and down to the common floor with the big kitchen. Natasha sat at the marble island and watched as Steve took out different ingredients and cookware.

“How about some macaroni and cheese?” He offered. Natasha nodded her approval and watched as he started cooking.

When he finished, she ate the homemade mac n' cheese. She moaned in delight at how wonderful it tasted. Steve smiled brightly at her as he set about cleaning the kitchen. When he was finished, he joined her at the island and sat quietly as she finished.

It wasn't an awkward silence. Steve was the only other person in the tower, other than Clint, who would sit with Natasha and not be awkward. Sometimes Bruce did, but he was usually too distracted by his work to even realize someone else was with him. He would mutter to himself about different equations and whatnot. Tony was never able to keep quiet and Thor was louder than Tony.

Natasha enjoyed Steve's company. He seemed to pick up on that, as had the others. Whenever Clint was away and Natasha closed herself off from the rest of them, they would send Steve to talk to her.

Suddenly, JARVIS interrupted their peace.

“Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff,” the British voice echoed in the room, “Director Fury is making his way up in the elevator.”

“What does he want JARVIS?” Steve asked. Natasha's heartbeat sped up. There was only one reason Fury would visit them in the middle of the night.

“He would not say. Only that it was urgent and the rest of the team is needed.” The AI answered.

Natasha met Fury at the elevator as he stepped into the living space of the Avengers. One look at him and Natasha's hand flew to her mouth.

“Clint,” she breathed.

“What's wrong, Director?” Rogers demanded.

“Agent Barton has been taken,” Fury's word reverberated through Natasha's entire being.

 _No. Not again._ She thought, her mind immediately racing back to just before the Avengers, just before everything happened. Back to those three words from Coulson.

_Barton's been compromised._

“When do we leave?” Natasha slipped into her role as the Black Widow. Putting all her concerns and worries and emotions at the back of her mind. Hiding them away to deal with later. She let her mind linger for a moment on the thought of being alone with the baby, but then pushed that away as well.

“One hour,” Fury answered. “Suit up.”

“JARVIS tell the others as well,” Steve spoke aloud.

“Yes, sir.”

Natasha took the elevator to her floor. She slipped into her catsuit, secreting weapons all over her body. She returned to the main floor and met with Captain Rogers in his uniform, along with Tony in his suit and Bruce in his regular clothes. Thor was there in his battle armor and Fury stood to the side. She was the last to arrive, apparently.

“Let go,” Fury led them out to the waiting quinjet. They filed on and took their seats. Once they were in the air, Fury started explaining.

Clint had been on a mission in Berlin. His mission was to infiltrate the company of a weapons dealer, retrieve any information he could on the business and take it down. His cover had been blown and he was taken prisoner. He had been missing for three days before SHIELD got a lock on his location. He was being held in a warehouse on the outskirts of the city.

The team decided that Steve and Natasha would enter through the back of the warehouse while Tony went in the front. Iron Man was to be the distraction, taking out as many guys as he could while Black Widow and Captain America looked for Clint. Thor would also be used in the distraction, while Bruce remained on the quinjet in case Clint was in need of medical attention.

The team was in place, waiting for Cap to give the signal.

“Now,” Rogers breathed into the comm. unit. Natasha and Steve could here as Tony blasted his way through the front doors of the warehouse. Shouts and gunfire could be heard heading toward the intruder. That's when Widow and Captain entered the building on the opposite side from the commotion.

They ran into very few guards, taking each threat out as they made their way to the room Clint was being held in. Outside that room, were two guards. Natasha quickly shot them with tranquilizers and they were out. Rushing to the door, she flung it open.

Her heart stopped.

Clint was hanging from chains, his arms above his head, in the center of the room. He looked beat up and bloodied. He wasn't moving.

Natasha ran over to him and started working on his bindings. Steve hadn't come into the room behind her and she wondered briefly where he was. Then her thoughts were pulled back into focus on her archer, her hawk.

She got him down from the chains. He still hadn't made a sounds or move. She checked his pulse. It was fluttering dangerously.

“Clint, please,” She whispered, cradling his head in her lap. “Please wake up.” She stroked his hair and his face. She wasn't going to be able to carry him out of the warehouse so she sat with him until someone came.

“I have him. He needs medical assistance. Rogers, I can't bring him out alone. I can't carry him,” She spoke calmly into the earpiece, though she was anything but calm.

“Come on, Clint, don't die on us. Can't lose you now. Clint, we need you,” Natasha didn't even realize she what she was saying. “Come on, Clint, wake up.”

She saw his eyelids flutter open. His storm gray orbs looking up into her green ones.

“That's it,” she urged, “come on, baby. Don't leave us. I can't do this without you, Clint.” She kept mumbling to him. She didn't care anymore if anyone heard her, though they most certainly had and were probably very confused.

“Come on, Clint,” she stroked his hair and his face, brushing away dirt and blood. “You're gonna be a father. Don't you want to see your baby grow up?” She whispered to him, his eyes having slipped shut again. At the mention of a child his eyes snapped open and locked gazes with her.

“That's right,” she was crying now, she realized. “We're going to be parents,” she whispered. “You're going to be a father.”

“Tasha...” he groaned, reaching for her face. She held his and against her cheek and leaned into his touch.

“Don't leave me,” she choked out.

“Love you,” he whispered before losing consciousness again. Steve finally made it to the room.

“Help me get him out of here,” Natasha ordered. She didn't bother wiping the tears from her face but she would be damned if she continued blubbering when she could finally get him to safety.

Steve carefully lifted Clint's limp body and carried him out to the waiting quinjet. It seemed as if all of the enemies had been taken out.

Steve kept glancing over at Natasha but she remained impassive. Once back at the jet, Clint was set down on a stretcher and check over by Bruce. They were taken back to the helicarrier where Clint would get medical treatment. Natasha sat by his side the entire time, clasping his hand tightly in her own.

The rest of the team would watch her and exchange glances with each other, silently asking who would be the one to broach the subject. Nobody really knew how to handle this situation, but it seemed that, by popular vote, Steve would be the unlucky one to go talk to her.

He walked over to the back of the jet and sat down next to Natasha, who was still holding Clint's hand.

“Natasha,” he started, not really sure what to say.

“Not now,” she looked up at him, a little bit of pleading in her voice. “I just- not now.” She looked back down at Clint and closed her eyes.

He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder then left her to her thoughts.

Soon they would bed back on the carrier and then there would be time for conversation. Until then, the team left her to her own thoughts.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Hurt Ch 9

Clint was in surgery for almost seven hours. He had a lot of injuries from being tortured. Natasha and the rest of the team sat in the waiting room, trying to keep their minds off the worst case scenarios. Tony and Pepper were [sitting](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8893507/9/Hurt) on a small couch, Bruce in a chair next to the couch. Natasha sat across the room, needing some space.

They would all watch her, sometimes blatantly, sometimes out of the corner of their eye. She hardly noticed though. Her thoughts centered around her archer and the child he may never meet.

It was in the waiting room, sitting alone and scared, that she knew she would keep this child. She would raise this child even if Clint didn't make it. It was part of him, how could she not?

"Natasha," Steve approached her cautiously, "what you said at the warehouse..." he started to say something but trailed off. She got the gist of it nonetheless.

"I'm pregnant," she revealed, burying her face in her hands, letting go a shuddering breath.

Steve could think of nothing to say, so instead he sat down beside her. He took her hand in his in an offer of comfort. She looked up at him, thankful for the support.

When the doctor finally came out, he called for Natasha.

"Agent Barton is stable. He [received](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8893507/9/Hurt) many injuries during his imprisonment, including cuts, bruises, burns. Typical injuries found in torture victims," The doctor informed Natasha, the rest of the team standing behind her in silent support.

"Can I see him?" Her voice broke over the words from disuse.

"He hasn't woken up yet, but you may visit with him." The doctor gestured down the hallway and led Natasha to his room.

She looked back at Steve. He nodded his head in understanding- the rest of them would wait until later.

She followed the doctor the room Clint was in. He laid there on the bed. He was so pale and still, Natasha was certain he was dead. That is, until she could hear the [heart monitor](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8893507/9/Hurt) and see the rise and fall of his chest.

"If he needs anything, just press his call button." The doctor told her before turning away back down the hall.

She [entered](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8893507/9/Hurt) his room and pulled a chair up to his bedside. She folded her legs up under her body and placed her hand over his.

"Wake up," she whispered, knowing he probably couldn't hear her. "Please wake up. I don't want to do this on my own." She could feel tears prick the backs of her eyes. She blinked them away, refusing to let them fall.

Natasha sat in the room for hours. She didn't do much, just watched Clint, watched out the window, listened to the monitor beep. Hours ticked by in silence. It had been night when she had entered his room, around 9 P.M. It was now close to 3 A.M.

Steve had come by a few times to check on Natasha. She barely paid attention to him. The last time he came in, he brought her tea and draped a blanket over her shoulders. He then took up residence in the other chair across the room. He had stayed with her since.

Natasha hadn't spoken, even to Clint, since she had first come in the room. Finally, a sign that Clint was waking up, caught her attention.

"Clint?" She asked hopefully.

He groaned, his face pinched in pain. "Tash?" he mumbled. She held his hand in hers and brought her other to cups his face, her thumb brushing across his cheek.

"It's me, baby. I'm here," she coaxed him. Steve was watching from his chair, not speaking, just watching.

"Tasha wha-appen?" he slurred.

"What do you remember?" She asked gently.

"I was made." He stated a little more clearly, blinking sleep from his eyes. He was clearly exhausted, but fighting to stay awake. "Assholes beat me to a bloody pulp."

She smirked, "That's what you get for going on an op without me."

"Remind me never to do that again," he smirked back. Then his face grew serious again. "Tasha..." he looked up at her uncertainly, "did I imagine what you said in the warehouse?"

She took a deep breath and answered. "No." She smiled a small, nervous smile. "You heard me right. I'm pregnant."

He smiled bright. His smile was only disrupted by a yawn.

"Sleep, my hawk. We can talk more after you've rested." Natasha leaned forward and kissed him lightly.

"Love you, Tasha," he slurred as he was pulled under by the drugs he was on.

"I love you, too, Clint." She smiled.

Clint was released from the hospital a week later, ordered to take it easy for a while. Natasha was taken off of active duty due to her pregnancy. The team helped in every way they could, for both Clint and Natasha.

Clint's recovery was rather quick. He had been lucky that he had no broken bones, just a few sprains, mostly cuts and bruises that would heal. He was back on active duty after a month, much to Natasha's displeasure.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Hurt, Ch 10

Natasha was almost eight months pregnant. She was in the [kitchen](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8893507/10/Hurt) with Pepper and Steve. They were all having a late [breakfast](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8893507/10/Hurt) together. Pepper took the day off and Natasha and Steve had nothing going one. Pepper was at the stove cooking pancakes and Steve was sitting at the [breakfast](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8893507/10/Hurt) bar sipping juice and reading the paper. Natasha was standing on the other side of the bar cutting up fruit to go with the pancakes. Suddenly, she felt something wet running down her leg. She looked down to see blood, so much blood.

She froze in shock at the sight.

"Natasha?" Steve noticed her sudden change, stood and came around the counter to where she was. As soon as he did, he saw the blood.

"Pepper, call Clint, I'm taking Natasha to the hospital." Steve demanded. Natasha hadn't moved. She was just staring at the blood. Rushing through her mind was every worst case scenario imaginable. Her worst fear was coming true. She was losing her baby.

At first Pepper didn't understand. She took one look at Tasha and went into business mode. She couldn't deal with panicking right now. She had to let Clint and the rest of the team know what was happening.

Steve called Bruce and asked him what he should do. Bruce told her to get towels and that Steve needed to drive her to the hospital immediately. Bruce would call ahead and let the hospital know Natasha was coming and that she was going to need immediate attention.

Steve grabbed some towels, handing them to Natasha. She had yet to move and it seemed she was in [complete](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8893507/10/Hurt) shock. She looked up at Steve with a brokenhearted look, tears streaking down her face. He scooped her into his arms, not wasting time, but made sure not to jostle her too much. He didn't want to make it worse.

He carried her to one of the cars Stark had in his garage and placed Natasha in the back. Pepper handed Natasha a stack of towels then climbed into the front seat. She had called Clint, who was at the New York SHIELD base. He would meet them at the hospital. Pepper was currently on [the phone](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8893507/10/Hurt) talking to Tony, Bruce had already called him and the two scientists were rushing to the hospital.

Natasha sat in the back of the [SUV](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8893507/10/Hurt). She was starting to panic. She didn't know what was going to happen. Her baby was in trouble and she couldn't save it. She had never felt so helpless in her life.

Pepper and Steve were sitting in the front, Steve was driving. Neither one spoke, but they both kept looking back at Natasha. The ride was silent all the way to the hospital. There were no words for the fear that swallowed them.

There was a medical team waiting outside the emergency entrance when they arrived. Steve got Natasha out of the car and placed her on the stretcher. The doctors rolled her inside, Steve followed. Pepper took the car and parked it. When she went inside she met up with Steve, Tony and Bruce.

"Clint is almost here," Tony informed her as she threw herself into his arms. Pepper sobbed for her friend, hoping that the baby and mother would be alright. Tony held her tightly, just as worried for the redhead and her child. Tony sat down in a chair, pulling Pepper into his lap.

Steve paced around the waiting room and Bruce stood against the wall. Clint burst through the doors.

"Where is she? Is she okay? What's going on?" Clint demanded.

"We don't know. The doctors are checking her. They wouldn't let any of us back there." Steve's tone was apologetic.

Clint went to the front desk and demanded information.

"They have your wife in surgery, Mr. Barton. The doctor will be out as soon as he can." one of the nurses told him.

He took to pacing the room, just as Steve was doing. Bruce kept inspecting his glasses, trying to keep his mind focused on anything else. Pepper was curled against Tony, her sobs had stopped, but she was still very upset.

It took several hours of waiting before the doctor came out to speak with the team.

"Mr. Barton," the doctor said. Clint was immediately across the room and in front of the man.

"How is she? Is she okay? Can I see her?" He rushed.

"Mr. Barton, I'm Dr. Bailey. Your wife is doing fine. May I offer my congratulations, you have a beautiful baby girl." The doctor smiled. Clint's jaw dropped. "Due to some rather intense complications, we had to perform an emergency cesarean surgery. You wife lost a lot of blood very quickly. Once your daughter was safe, we gave your wife a blood transfusion. She is in the ICU resting, but she should make a full recovery. Would you like to see them?" The doctor explained quickly.

All Clint could do was nod. He followed the doctor back to a room in the ICU where Natasha was asleep in a bed. She was hooked up to all sorts of wires and tubes, but she was okay. Clint walked over and kissed her forehead. She didn't wake up, so she must have been incredibly tired.

"Would you like to see your daughter?" A nurse asked quietly from the doorway. Clint gave Natasha one more kiss before following the nurse to the nursery. Since Natasha had been just about eight months pregnant, their baby was just about the size of a full-term baby. She didn't need to stay in the NICU.

The nurse, whose name was Kelly, led Clint through the nursery to a tiny bed. Inside was a sleeping little girl wrapped in a soft pink blanket. She had a tuft of sandy hair at the top of her head. Her skin was pink and a little wrinkled.

"Can I hold her?" Clint asked. Nurse Kelly nodded and lifted the sleeping girl out of her crib. She walked Clint over to one of the rocking chairs. He sat down and Kelly handed him his daughter. She was so tiny in his arms. She fussed for a moment at being jostled but quickly fell asleep again.

Nurse Kelly smiled down at the new father holding his baby girl. "Does she have a name yet?" Kelly asked.

Clint thought for a moment. There had been so many ideas for names from everyone. Clint and Natasha had come to a decision a few weeks ago on what name they wanted.

"Aria Rose Barton," he said quietly. Natasha had changed her last name to Barton, even though everybody still called her Romanoff, so it made sense that their daughter would be named Barton.

"Beautiful name," Kelly said as she went about doing her work in the nursery.

Clint sat in the rocking chair with his baby girl, his Aria. He couldn't look away from her tiny features. Her little hands and little nose. Her eyes moved behind their lids. She twitched and moved as she slept. He wondered if she was dreaming and if so, what was dreaming about?

"Clint?" a voice called softly from the doorway. Clint looked up to see Pepper. She came over to him.

"Is this her?" Pepper asked.

"Yeah," Clint smiled.

"What did you name her?" Pepper asked.

"Aria Rose." Clint couldn't stop smiling.

"She's so beautiful. Like her mother," Pepper said, running the tips of her fingers over the baby's hand.

"She is," Clint got a little choked up. "God, I was so scared when you called me. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't help!" Clint breathed out in a rush.

"It's okay," Pepper placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "They're both okay. Aria is healthy and Natasha is recovering. Your family is safe name, Clint." Pepper soothed.

"Thank you, Pepper."

"No problem. I'm going to check in with the guys. Let them know that you're all fine. We will probably go back to the tower soon." Pepper said.

"Okay," Clint said. "Thank you."

Pepper left the nursery, back to the waiting room where the team was staying. Aria started fussing in his arms. At first, he panicked, not knowing what to do. It suddenly became very real that he was a father and didn't know how to be one.

"She's hungry," Kelly came over to him, lifting the baby from his arms. "Do you know if your wife is going to breast feed or bottle feed?" She asked Clint. He had just assumed it would be breast feeding.

"Uh, breast feeding I think." he stated dumbly.

Kelly chuckled, "well then, let's bring her to her mother." Kelly handed Clint the infant after he stood up and he followed her to Natasha's room.

She was awake in her bed, staring out the window. When Clint came in her gaze shot over to the doorway. She first saw Clint, then the tiny pink bundled he carried.

"Clint," she gasped. She looked like she had been crying. "Is she- is she okay?" Natasha sniffled. Clint got closer to her and sat in a chair beside her bed.

"She's perfect Tasha," he said in awe. He placed the baby down gently in her arms, making sure the head was supported properly. "She's hungry." He stated.

Natasha smiled at her daughter, holding her for the first time. She had been unconscious at the end of the cesarean, having passed out from blood loss. She hadn't known whether or not her baby was okay. Then she woke up in her room alone. Clint wasn't there, though she vaguely remembered his voice. She thought perhaps it was just a dream, but then again, maybe he did come here.

She chuckled when Clint said she was hungry, but she wasn't sure what to do. Clint went to get Nurse Kelly, he knew she would be able to help or get someone who could. Clint stayed in the room as Kelly helped Natasha learn to breast feed. After a few tries, Aria latched on and drank from her mother.

Clint thought they were beautiful and perfect. It was so natural and Natasha made it look so easy and right. He sat next to her in the chair until she patted the bed next to her. He moved to sit next to her on the bed. He put his arm around her shoulder and looked down at his baby girl. He brought his hand up to her cheek and brushed it softly with his finger.

"Hello beautiful," he whispered. The baby opened her eyes and looked up at him. Her eyes were the same stormy gray as her father's. "Tasha..."

"I see them," she whispered in awe. She was so happy that their baby had Clint's eyes. It was one of the things she found so amazing about him.

"Hey baby girl," Clint cooed at the infant. "I'm your daddy." Aria grabbed one of his fingers with her tiny hand.

"She's perfect," Tasha whispered. "My baby girl."

"Our baby girl," Clint said. He kissed Natasha temple. When the baby was done feeding, Natasha burped her. Aria fell asleep in her mother's arms. The new parents watched her sleep for while.

Natasha yawned.

"Get some sleep Tasha," Clint kissed her temple again and took Aria from her mother. He held the baby girl carefully and sat down in the chair next to the bed so Natasha could get some rest.

His family was safe and he couldn't stop smiling.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Hurt, Ch 11

 

Aria's screaming jolted Natasha from sleep. Reflexively, she grabbed her gun for the bedside table and crept towards her daughter's room. Peering around the corner, Natasha noticed nothing out of the ordinary. She moved into Aria's room, placing the gun on the dresser, out of the way of the child, making sure the safety was on.

Aria was still screaming across the room in her crib. She was six months old now and was usually good at sleeping through the night. For the times that she woke up crying, Clint was the one who would take care of her. She was 'Daddy's Little Girl'. Aria had her father wrapped around her tiny little fingers. In fact, she had everyone wrapped around her finger. Unfortunately, Clint was away on a week-long mission. He was still to be gone for another three days.

Natasha made her way over to the crib, wondering why her daughter was screaming so forcefully. She didn't typically cry this loudly or angrily. The last time she was this unhappy was when she had a fever a couple of months ago. Natasha sighed, realizing her daughter was probably not feeling well.

Natasha lifted Aria out of the crib. She held her hand against her daughter's forehead, checking to see if she was warm. Natasha noted that Aria felt warmer than usual.

“Shh, baby girl,” Natasha soothed. “What's wrong?” She asked, even though she knew Aria could not answer her.

The six months old continued crying. Natasha rubbed a hand across Aria's back as she held the child against her body. She walked through the apartment to the bathroom, searching for the thermometer. Aria had stopped screaming, but was still whimpering against her mother's shoulder.

As soon as Natasha tried holding the thermometer to Aria's ear, she started screaming full force. She tried a couple of times, but soon gave up the fight. Aria was not having any of it.

“Shh, baby,” Natasha cooed, “it's gonna be alright. We'll get you better okay?” Natasha rocked her daughter gently. “JARVIS?”

“Yes, Mrs. Barton?” the A.I. Replied.

“Can you ask Doctor Banner to come down here, please?” Natasha asked quietly.

“Of course,” JARVIS answered. Natasha walked back out into the living-room of the apartment. As she walked, she tried to keep Aria calm. She was still crying and whimpering and her temperature seemed to be getting higher.

The elevator doors opened to reveal a rumpled and tired Bruce Banner. He made his way into the Barton's apartment.

“What's going on?” He asked Natasha, moving to stand next to her.

“Aria woke up screaming. She feels warm and won't let me take her temperature. I'm not really sure what to do.” Natasha spoke uncertainly, but calmly. She wasn't going to worry until there was reason to. Though, when it came to her daughter, there was always reason to worry.

“Let's take her up to my quarters. I have some medical supplies up there. We can check her over,” Bruce offered.

“Thank you,” Natasha smiled gratefully, following Bruce to the elevator. The pressed the button and waited for it to arrive. When it did, Natasha stepped in, followed by Bruce. Aria started crying louder as the elevator moved upward. Apparently, she didn't like the movement.

“Shh, my love. It's alright,” Natasha whispered. “Все в порядке, малыш.” She rubbed her daughter's back soothingly, not having a better way to comfort Aria.

They got off at Bruce's floor. Natasha followed him through his apartment to his private lab, where he kept his medical bag. He rummaged through it for a few moments. Natasha sat in a swivel chair near him, waiting.

He produced a thermometer, but instead of putting it in her ear, he scanned it across Aria's forehead.

“102.4 degrees,” Bruce announced. Natasha's eyes widened a fraction.

“How bad is that?” She asked. The last time Aria had a fever it was low grade, 100 degrees was the highest it had gotten.

“Still not too bad, but if it gets much higher, we will have take her to her doctor.” Bruce checked her lungs next, then her ears. After he was finished examining her, he put away his tools and turned to Natasha. “She has some congestion in her chest. Has she not been feeling well? Runny nose, perhaps?”

“Um, yeah. The last two days or so. She also been sleeping more than usual and a bit more fussy.” Natasha recalled her daughter's behavior over the last couple of days.

Bruce nodded thoughtfully. “She probably has a cold and it's caused fluid to back up in her ears causing pain and discomfort.”

“What can I do to help her? Do you need to prescribe anything?” Natasha asked. She was new to all of this. Aria hadn't gotten sick much since she was born. She was healthier than most infants and the last time she was sick, Clint took care of her for the most part. Natasha had been on a mission for the worst of it that time. Now she had no idea how to handle her sick baby girl.

“I'm going to prescribe some antibiotics for her. She needs to take the correct amount until it's all gone. She has to finish all of it. You can give her children's Tylenol or ibuprofen for the pain.” He made a note on his tablet as he spoke to Natasha. “Also, when you feed her, try to keep her in a somewhat upright position. It will keep more fluid from building up. Same goes for sleeping.” Bruce suggested.

“Thank you, Bruce.” Natasha smiled gratefully. She stood with Aria in her arms, ready to go back to their apartment. Aria had fallen asleep listening to her mother's heartbeat. One of her little hands clutched the fabric of Natasha's shirt, the other ball into a fist tucked against her body.

“If you need anything else, or if she gets worse, don't hesitate to call me.” Bruce directed as she left.

“I will. Thank you.” With that, she left back to her own floor.

Aria was, thankfully, still asleep when they got back to the apartment. Natasha remembered what Bruce said about letting her sleep upright, so she put her daughter in her bouncer. It had a mobile attached to the top that played music. Natasha placed Aria in the bouncer and turned the music on soft. The inclined position would help keep her ears from getting backed up any more.

Once she was sure Aria was asleep and okay, Natasha got everything out that she would need for Aria. She lined the kitchen counter with baby Tylenol, the thermometer (the forehead scanner). She wasn't sure what else she should do, so she decided to send Clint a quick text to let him know what was going on.

_Clint, Aria has an ear infection. 102 fever. Bruce is putting her on antibiotics. -Nat_

Hopefully he would text her back soon, or better yet, call her. She was nervous at having to handle Aria alone while she was sick. She didn't think she would be able to help her like Clint always seemed to be able to.

Natasha thought about how great of a father Clint was. Since the moment they brought Aria home from the hospital, he had been the primary care-taker. Not that Natasha held back from her daughter. Not at all. But Clint just seemed to be better at it than Natasha. At least, that was what she thought.

In truth, Natasha had been so prepared to fail, that she missed how well she was actually doing. When he was around to see, Clint was always so impressed with how great of a mother Natasha had become.

After Aria had been born, Natasha stayed out of the field for a full three months before even considering going back. She wanted her daughter to be safe and happy and healthy. Clint was impressed that she had waited a full three months before bringing up the subject of going back. He was even more surprised when she announced she would only work at SHIELD as a handler and trainer. Natasha was not going to leave for a mission unless they absolutely needed her. Which had only happened twice since she returned.

Aria started fussing again, so Natasha gently lifted her out of the bouncy seat and held her. She gave her the suggested dose of Tylenol to ease the pain a bit. Natasha checked the time to make sure she knew when she could give Aria more medicine. It was just after four in the morning. Natasha didn't much care how early it was. She was up now and didn't feel the need to go back to sleep.

 

The next two days went by without much change. Aria's fever didn't get much higher, the highest being 103 degrees. Natasha had spoken to Clint, who assured her she would do fine. He also reminded her that she wasn't alone. Bruce, Pepper, Steve and Tony were all around to help out and he would be home soon.

Aria was finally feeling better and was currently sleeping in her room without the help of pain relief. The antibiotics were doing their job and Aria was well on her way to getting better. Natasha was exhausted, but didn't let it show too much. She hadn't gotten much sleep, but once Clint came back she would be alright.

“Mrs. Barton, there is a call for you,” JARVIS interrupted her thoughts as she sipped on her coffee in the kitchen.

“Put it through, JARVIS,” she said.

“Of course, Miss,” the A.I. Replied. A screen appeared on the tablet in front of her and a moment later, a video of Clint popped up.

“Nat? How's Aria doing?” He asked.

“She's doing better. She's sleeping right now.” Natasha answered. “She misses you,” Natasha smirked. “Miss her daddy.”

“Yeah,” Clint smiled fondly. “I miss her too.” he said. “And you, Mama Spider.” He smirked.

“Hmm, yeah?”She smirked mischievously. “Maybe when you get back you can show me just how much you missed me.”

Clint groaned, “Oh you bet I will.”

Natasha glanced up when she heard a whimper come from Aria's room. It didn't happen again so she let it be for now. She would check on Aria in a few minutes.

“So when will you be home?” Natasha asked, turning her attention back to the screen.

“Should be home really late tonight. Probably after you two are asleep.” Clint answered.

“Okay,” Natasha said. “I have to go check on Aria. I love you, мой ястреб .” She smiled.

“I love you, too, мое сердце,” He blew a kiss a the camera and said. “I'll see you tonight, Tasha. Give a kiss to Aria for me.”

“I will. Bye, Clint.”

“Bye Nat,” he smiled. The screen turned black as the call ended and Natasha turned off the tablet. She made her way through the apartment to Aria's room. Aria was sleeping restlessly. She was squirming, her forehead pinched in a frown.

Natasha stroked her hand over the creased skin, over her hair. “Shh,” she soothed, “you are safe, моя любовь,” she brushed her nails lightly through the short blonde hair on her daughter's head. “Daddy's coming home soon. He misses you,” Natasha whispered to her.

 

Natasha was finally able to fall asleep around midnight. Aria had been asleep for a couple of hours already and she seemed to be doing well enough that she wouldn't be waking up soon. When Clint came home around two hours later, he found Natasha curled up on his side of the bed. Something she only did when she was exhausted.. Clint smiled fondly and, after changing into sweatpants and a t-shirt, he crossed the hallway to his daughter's room.

Aria was sleeping when he walked in, but somehow she must have known he was there because she opened her eyes as he approached.

“Hey, Princess,” Clint smiled, reaching to lift her up. “Daddy's home. Did you miss me, baby? Were you good for Mommy?” He rocked her gently as she cooed in his ear. “I heard you weren't feeling well. All better now?” He asked. “Did you let Mommy get any sleep?”

“Not enough,” Natasha answered from the doorway. Clint hadn't heard her get up. He turned to face her and smiled. She walked over to him, curling into his body when he held and arm out to her. Now he had Natasha tucked under one arm and Aria resting on his other shoulder.

“Now I have both my girls,” she smiled and kissed Natasha's temple. “Yo she be getting sleep. You must be exhausted.”

“Mhm, I am.” She agreed. “Wanted to say hi, though.” She mumbled into his shirt. He chuckled and pulled her closer.

“Well then, you've said hi.” He carefully set Aria down in her crib and turn on her musical mobile. The little girl was already half asleep as her parents turned out of the room.

“You promised to show me how much you missed me,” Natasha smirked.

“Yeah, I did,” Clint admitted. “But that can wait until you've actually had some rest. You're too tired Nat. You haven't gotten enough sleep with Aria being sick.” He crawled into bed bedside Natasha. “I promise, tomorrow I will show you just how much I've missed you.” He kissed her lovingly before settling back on the bed,

“Mmm, fine.” Natasha conceded. She curled up against his body, laying her head over his heart, listening to it beat. She twined her legs with his and surrendered to the steady rhythm of his heart.

“I love you, Tasha,” Clint whispered once he knew she was asleep. He kissed the top of her head before drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

“Aria!” Natasha screamed. She ran toward the helicopter that was taking off with her daughter inside. Natasha didn't dare shoot at it out of fear that Aria would get hurt. She raced after the aircraft but it was soon out of sight.

Natasha collapsed on the ground in shock. Her baby was gone, taken. She cried out to the sky in pain and sadness. Her body curled in on itself and shook, racked with sobs of grief.

 

Natasha snapped into a sitting position, panting heavily. Tears were streaming down her face and she couldn't calm her breathing. She flipped the covers off her body and ran to her daughter's room. She quickly moved to the side of the eighteen month old's crib. She sobbed in relief when she saw Aria sleeping peacefully in her bed.

Natasha reached in and picked her daughter up. Cradling her to her chest, Natasha sat in the rocking chair and held her baby girl.

“I will never let anyone hurt you, my love. I promise,” Natasha whispered fiercely to the sleeping girl.

“Tasha,” Clint called from the doorway. He had woken up when Natasha did from her nightmare and followed her into the nursery. He watched as she held their child and moved to kneel in front of her.

“They took her,” Natasha whispered in confession. The nightmare she had been having was occurring more in recent months. “I couldn't protect her.” Natasha didn't stop the tear that escaped down her cheek.

Clint cupped her cheek and brushed it away with his thumb. He turned her face so he could look her in the eye.

“It didn't happen. It won't happen Tasha. We will protect her, our team will protect her. She is safe here, Baby,” Clint leaned up and kissed Natasha's forehead. “C'mon, you need sleep. We'll bring her into our room.”

Natasha nodded and stood up with Aria in her arms. Clint placed a gentle hand on her lower back and lead her back to their bedroom. Clint reclined on the bed, Natasha laid down with Aria between them. She curled around her daughter in her own form on protection. Clint wrapped his arms around both his girls and stroked Natasha's back with his hand.

“Sleep, Tasha,” Clint whispered, “I'll take watch.”

It didn't happen often that Natasha would need him to watch while she slept, but her nightmares had been so bad that he would give whatever reassurance he could.

 

The next morning, Clint was getting ready to take Aria for a walk through the park. He was letting Natasha sleep in since she hadn't slept well after her nightmare. Clint was dressing Aria in a purple onesie with some dark gray leggings to go over it. He wrapped her in an Iron Man sweatshirt, a present from Tony on her first birthday.

“Alright, Princess,” Clint lifted Aria off the changing table. She squealed and babbled at her father. “Ready to go?” He asked, settling her on his hip.

“Da!” She giggled and clapped.

Clint chuckled. “Is that 'Dad' or the Russian word for 'yes'?”

“Da!” She laughed some more.

“Silly, silly girl,” he chuckled, tickling her sides. Aria started squealing in laughter. Soft footsteps outside the nursery alerted Clint to his wife's presence.

“What's going on in here?” She smiled softly as she watched her husband interact with their daughter. It was one of her favorite things to see.

“Going to take Aria for a walk. I was hoping to be back before you got up. You needed sleep, Baby,” Clint smiled gently and Natasha walked over and curled herself into his side.

“Is that safe?” She asked.

“What?” Clint asked, stunned. “Of course it's safe Tasha. I would never put our baby girl at risk.” Clint looked hurt at the accusation that he couldn't keep their child safe on a walk through the park.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered, “I'm just scared we're going to lose her.” Natasha sighed. She hated feeling liked she wasn't able to keep her baby safe. She hated being scared.

Clint held her closer to his body. “She'll be fine. I'll be with her. She won't get out of my sight. Do you want me to bring Steve with me? I'm sure he would love to go.” Clint offered. He really wanted Natasha to be okay with him taking their daughter out. He also wanted her to stay and rest.

“Okay,” she acquiesced.

He kissed the top of her head, then mumbled, “why don't you go get some more sleep. You've been exhausted lately.”

She nodded against his shoulder before pulling away. She kissed Aria's forehead. “Be safe,” she whispered to them then retreated back to the master bedroom.

Clint situated Aria into her stroller then took the elevator up to Steve's floor. Once there, JARVIS let him into the apartment and he waited in the living-room.

“Steve?” Clint called out.

“Yeah?” Steve called back. A few seconds later he walked into the room wearing a pair of sweatpants and no shirt. “What's up?”

“Feel like taking a walk with Aria and me?” Clint asked, smirking at the shirtless Captain.

Steve smiled, “Sure. Let me just get changed.” He disappeared down the hall. Two minutes later, he reappeared ready to go.

 

They were walking through the park, Aria was chasing the pigeons and Steve and Clint were sitting on a bench watching her.

“What's going on, Clint?” Steve asked suddenly.

“What do you mean?” Clint replied nonchalantly.

“I know something's up, Clint. You usually don't ask to go on walks like this without needing to talk about something,” Steve gave him a knowing look. “So, what's on your mind?”

Clint didn't say anything for a few moments. Steve knew he was trying to get his thoughts together so he didn't say anything more. When Clint spoke, it was soft and vulnerable.

“It's Tasha.” he said. “She's been having nightmares. All different, but for one exception. She keeps losing Aria.” His voice was low and quiet, Steve could hear the fear in his voice. Natasha wasn't the only one scared of losing the little girl. Clint was too, and he was also scared for Natasha.

“She's been losing sleep, waking up in the middle of the night. She jumps out of bed and runs to Aria's nursery and then she'll sit and hold Aria for the rest of the night, not going back to sleep. It's wearing her down.” Clint hadn't put words to this fear before. It felt good to confide in his teammate.

“She's afraid she isn't strong enough to protect her,” Steve finished. Clint nodded, grateful that someone understood. “She isn't the only one, though, is she?” Steve gave a knowing look.

“No,” Clint answered.

“Is that why I'm here? Safety net?”

Clint just nodded, watching his daughter laugh as the birds flew around her.

“Just remember that Aria is surrounded by 'Earth's Mightiest Heroes'. No one can touch her. We won't let that happen. She'll be fine,” Steve clapped a hand on Clint's shoulder.

“Thanks, Steve.” Clint smiled gratefully. He got up and walked over to Aria. When she saw him coming, she ran at him. He bent down and scooped her into the air, raising her above his head. She giggled and squealed in delight.

“Ready to go home, Princess?” Clint asked, walking back to the strolled and Steve. He started to strap her in, but she wiggled and thrashed, not wanting to be in the carriage. She started crying.

“Alright, alright, baby girl. No stroller.” Clint conceded.

“Want to ride on my shoulders?” Steve asked, taking Aria from her father. She smiled brightly and clapped her hands. “Da!” she exclaimed.

“Definitely not 'Dad'.” Clint chuckled.

“What?” Steve smirked at Clint. He lifted Aria to sit on top of his shoulders. She wrapped her arms around his forehead and held on tight. She had learned early on that not holding on would make her fall off. Luckily when that happened, there had been someone to catch her.

“She keeps saying 'Da' whenever I asked her questions. Couldn't tell if it was 'Dad' or not. It's not.” Clint smirked.

“What is it then?” Steve asked as they made there way back to the tower.

“'Da' is Russian for 'yes'.” The two men shared a look then started laughing.

“Like mother, like daughter,” Steve chuckled.

“You have no idea.”

 

That night, after they had put Aria to bed, Clint led Natasha into their bedroom. He sat her down on the edge of the bed and knelt before her.

“You are so beautiful, Nat.” He whispered, leaning up to kiss her. He dropped kisses across her face. “You are strong.” Another kiss. “You are loving.” Another kiss. “You are a great mother.”

He held her face in his hands and looked directly into her eyes. “And you will protect our baby girl no matter what. She is safe. She is happy. She loves you.” Clint assured her.

Natasha felt a single tear slip from her eye before she blinked the rest away. She collapsed against Clint.

“Thank you.” She whispered.

He scooped her into his arms and laid down on the bed with her. He held her until she fell asleep. She didn't have a nightmare that night, she was too exhausted. The nightmares weren't gone for good, but now she believed she had a chance to keep her baby safe. She trusted Clint, she knew he would make their child safe if she couldn't.

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

Natasha's nightmares, thankfully, hadn't gotten worse in the past couple of weeks. She was even having less of them, but they still plagued her sleep. Both she and Clint wondered why she was having them so much recently. It's not like she hasn't had nightmares of losing her daughter before, but never with such intensity, so often.

Natasha's tiredness didn't go unnoticed by her teammates, especially Steve, since he now knew to look for it. Without proper sleep, she was getting sloppier on her missions with the Avengers. The latest mission, against the 'villain of the week' -a guy obsessed with giant bugs- resulted in Natasha nearly getting squashed by said bugs. She wasn't as alert as her normal self. She missed the giant roach charging at her until it was nearly too late. Luckily, Stark caught the scene and scooped her off the ground before she became roach kill.

After that, the team decided it was time Natasha talked to someone about what was going on. She chose to talk to Bruce. Perhaps a new perspective would help. She told Bruce all about the dreams and sleepless nights, how it was effecting her appetite and weight- she had lost weight from the stress.

Bruce decided to do a full body work up, to check how much her health had been effected. After everything yielded normal results, he couldn't really help her. He just instructed she try her best to get as much rest as possible.

She nodded and left the lab, disheartened by the discouraging of the 'check-up'. As Natasha walked by the calendar in her apartment, froze. Quickly, she checked the date and did some swift math in her head.

“Oh shit,” she whispered in shock. She grabbed her coat and purse and headed straight back to the elevator. “Oh shit, oh shit.” She muttered. “JARVIS, if anyone asks for me, I've gone to the pharmacy and I'll be back shortly.”

“Of course, Ms. Romanoff,” the AI replied. Even though she was married, JARVIS still called her Romanoff, though legally she's changed her name to Barton.

 

 

An hour later, Natasha sat in the bathroom of her apartment in Stark Tower, staring at the test in her hand.

“Oh my god,” she murmured into the hand pressed against her lips. Slowly, a smile crept up on her lips. She kept thinking of Clint and Aria. How was she going to tell them? Clint's birthday was in a couple of days...maybe she could surprise him, but how? It was nearly impossible to keep anything from him. Plus Natasha grabbed the evidence and hid it in the one place Clint wouldn't go. Her jewelry chest. She had a rule that he was not allowed to touch it because it was very carefully organized. He thought it was silly but respected her rule.

Then she started pacing, thinking about how she could tell him. She decided she would definitely try to wait until his birthday. She spotted a jewelry box sitting on top of her dresser. It was the necklace box from the arrow necklace Clint had given her a month prior. She had forgotten to do anything with the box.

“Perfect,” she smiled.

 

 

“Hey Tasha,” Clint called from the living-room, “you okay?”

Natasha was cooking dinner when she knocked over a glass onto the floor. She heard the quick pattering of little feet before she saw Aria run into the room.

“Freeze!” Natasha called out to the girl. Aria halted mid-step, her body not moving, like it was a game of freeze dance. Natasha chuckled, “Baby, go back to Papa. It's not safe to walk in here right now.” Nat pointed toward the living-room where Clint was watching television.

“'Kay!” Aria giggled and ran out of the room. She could here Clint talking to Aria and their daughter giggling in return. Another minute later, Clint came in carrying Aria of his hip.

“What happened?” He lifted a curious eyebrow.

“I knocked over a glass, genius.” Natasha huffed, stooping down to pick up the larger pieces of glass.

“Really? That's not like you...” Clint scrunched his eyebrows in thought.

“Yes, well, ya know, not getting sleep tends to screw with a person's head...” Natasha said as an excuse for why she had dropped the glass. The truth was she had dropped it from sudden dizziness. It was short lived and nothing Natasha was going to worry about too much. It probably _was_ from her tiredness anyway.

“You sure you're okay, Tasha?” Clint sat Aria in her high chair and helped Natasha finish cleaning up the rest of the glass.

“I'm fine,” she smiled gently up at him. They got the rest of the glass off the floor, vacuuming the area to be safe. Clint pulled her into a quick kiss, releasing her after a very short moment when Aria started clapping and laughing.

“What's so funny little girl?” Clint stalked over to the nineteen month old playfully. He scooped her out of the seat and into the air. Aria squealed loudly and grabbed his arms out of instinct.

Natasha watched her them play for a few minutes before returning to the task at hand. She was making baked ziti. The pasta was almost done boiling on the stove. When it was, she layered it in the glass pan with the sauce and cheeses and popped it into the oven to bake.

“Mmmm,” Clint hummed. “That smells good, baby.” He wrapped his arms around her middle and rested his chin on her shoulder.

“You think?” she smirked. Natasha had always been a good cook, but Clint was better. So anytime he complimented her on her food, she was secretly pleased with his approval.

“So what do you want for your birthday dinner tomorrow?” Natasha turned in his arms, draping hers around his neck.

“You gonna cook for me?” He smiled a cheeky grin, his gruff voice sending shivers down her spine. He nuzzled his nose in her hair, kissing her neck in the process, making her squirm.

“Mama?” Aria tugged on her mother's pant leg with a pout on her face.

“Yes baby?” Natasha looked down.

“Up!” The child whined, arms stretched up with what Clint refers to as her 'grabby hands'.

Clint chuckled as he untangled from his wife, allowing Natasha to bend down and pick up Aria. The little blonde smiled brightly at her parents and cuddled into Natasha's chest. “Mama,” Aria mumbled happily. Natasha leaned into Clint as he wrapped his arms around the two.

After dinner, the assassins put their daughter to bed. Natasha disappeared into the bathroom that adjoined their room. Clint reclined on the bed, reading a book. She came out of the bathroom wearing one of his old t-shirts that she had long-ago claimed as hers.

Tasha curled up next to Clint as he continued to read. He stroked her hair, helping her to relax a bit and start to doze off. After a few minutes, her breathing evened out and she was asleep. Clint smiled down at her, placing a gentle kiss in her hair. He put his book down on the nightstand, shifting so he was laying down, and turned off the lamp. He fell asleep curled around her protectively. She didn't have nightmares that night.

 

 

Natasha woke up warm and comfortable. She looked up at her husband wrapped around and sighed happily. She cuddled into his embrace, staying for a few more minutes in his cocoon of safety and love. She sighed again and decided it was time to get up. She had a few errands to run before they could start their day.

Since it was Clint's birthday, she was going to cook breakfast and dinner. They would probably eat out for lunch and bring Aria to the park. Steve would be coming over for dinner as well, so she also wanted to make sure the apartment was cleaned up nice. Nobody else was around to have dinner. Tony and Pepper were in Malibu, Bruce was away at a science convention and Thor was with Jane.

Natasha cleaned up the rooms, putting away Aria's toys and any stray items that found themselves out of place. Once that was finished and the apartment was cleaned to her liking, she set about making breakfast for her family.

Her family, she thought, placing a hand over her stomach. Soon her family would be bigger. She smiled at the thought. Secretly, Natasha hoped this child would be a boy. A little boy, with dusty blonde hair and sharp blue eyes and a smile like his father's.

“What's on your mind?” Clint's low, rough voice in her ear caught her off guard. He chuckled, noticing her surprise. She was usually hard to sneak up on, which made him all the more curious as to what had distracted her so much.

“Nothing,” she said, turning around and circling her arms around his neck. “Happy birthday, мойястреб.” She kissed him lightly.

His arms wound around her waist, pulling her flush against him as he deepened their kiss. She smiled against his mouth before pulling away.

“Uh-uh,” she shook her head, smirking, “that present comes later.” she winked. He groaned at her devilish smirk.

“Tease,” he growled in her ear, stealing another kiss. This one was hotter and more insistent, but she still pushed him away and laughed.

“Later,” she chided. “I promise.” She kissed him chastely once more before turning around and removing the pancakes from the skillet so they would not burn.

“So,” his voice rumbled in her ear, “you never told me what you were thinkin' about,” he drawled.

“Hmm,” she hummed thoughtfully, trying to decide what to say. “I was thinking about how much I love my family and the life we have created.” It wasn't far from the truth, just enough so that she wasn't outright lying to him. If she was, he would be able to tell and then she wouldn't be able to hide her secret from him. 

“Yeah?” He whispered in her ear, kissing her neck. “I love you so much. Thank you for giving me such a beautiful little girl and being my beautiful wife, baby.”

“I love you,” Natasha turned her head and kissed his temple. She escaped the circle of his arms to bring the food to the table then left down the hall to wake up Aria. It was already nine thirty and they really shouldn't have let her sleep for so long, but it was a special day.

“Come on, baby girl.” Natasha reached into her daughter's bed. “Time to get up. It's Daddy's birthday,” she murmured, gently shaking the young girl's shoulder.

Aria rubbed at her eyes. “Papa bir-day?” she mumbled sleepily.

“Mhm,” Natasha chuckled at what sounded like 'Bird day' instead of 'Birthday'. Well, it certainly fit anyway. “Time to get up,” she coaxed, picking the little girl up and setting her on her hip.

Natasha walked out to the kitchen so they could have breakfast as a family. She set the still-sleepy Aria in her new booster seat. The previous week Aria had claimed 'no more chair-chair' and that she was 'big girl now'. Clint and Natasha had conceded to their daughter and switched out the highchair for the booster.

“Pancays!” Aria cried when she noticed her favorite breakfast sitting on the table. She tried to grab for them but they were just out of reach. Natasha had known it would happen and that if they were close enough that Aria would make a mess.

“One minute, my love,” Natasha soothed. She cut up a couple of pancakes and placed them on the plate in front of her daughter. Clint just chuckled at Aria's impatience. She certainly got that from her mother.

The three then ate the rest of their meal in peaceful silence. The only noises coming from Aria as she chowed down her pancakes, her parents smiling in content.

 

 

That night, after dinner and coffee with Steve, Natasha and Clint put Aria to bed. They each kissed her goodnight and Clint read her a quick bedtime story.

Meanwhile, Natasha had slipped into their room, changing into the silk teddy she bought to show off to Clint. One of her two gifts to him. The only other being the secret she would reveal in a few minutes time.

When he finished reading, Aria already asleep, he made his way to the master bedroom. He walked to the closet to change, not noticing Natasha coming up behind. She placed her hands over his eyes.

“Happy birthday, love,” she whispered huskily in his ear. “Ready for your present?”

He growled and turned, capturing her in his arms and crashing his lips to hers. “Always,” he smirked, kissing her breathless.

She chuckled before pulling away. “As much as I want this right now, I have one more present for you first,” she untangled herself from his grip and sauntered over to the nightstand, picking up the small box.

“Nat?” Clint asked when he saw her hesitate to turn around. She shook off her thoughts and turned back to him with a nervous smile. Wordlessly, she handed him the box, biting her lower lip.

Curious, he took the box and started unwrapping it. He had no clue as to what she would have bought him and why it was so important to give to him now. Once he got the paper off he recognized the box as the one from the arrow necklace he had given her.

“Nat?” he looked up, confused and a little worried.

“Just open it,” she urged quietly.

As soon as he opened it, his mouth fell open in shock, and soon his shock was replaced by joy and love. He dropped the gift, the positive pregnancy test, on the floor and wrapped his arms around Natasha's waist, lifting her off the floor and spinning her around.

“Really?” He asked, disbelieving of the news.

“Yes,” she smiled brightly. He kissed her fiercely. Both of them so completely happy about this new plan for their future.

“I love you so much,” he murmured against her lips. “Thank you, baby.”

“I love you too,” she whispered. “Our family is getting bigger,” she smiled, unable to hide her happiness.

“It is,” he agreed. “Now let me show you how thankful I am...” He smiled devilishly, laying her on the bed.

“Oh I hope you do...”

 

 


End file.
